$5 for a 12 hour journey inward, or $150 for a 45 minute session… 🤔
Last time (and first) i went to therapy i was low on money and because of our insurance i “only”(be warned, veru european amounts ahead) had to pay my “own risk” clause which sat at €385. But i REALLY needed some form of help during that time, i had some job interviews and i was physically unable to drag myself to them.
I got about halfway and just break down completely, so i was desperate and literally stuck in life from my point of view.
So i went to therapy with my last money and ended getting 3 sessions and a “we can’t help you there is nothing wrong here’s the bill tho”.
I still don’t know how i managed to get out of there, but i can still feel it pulling in the background…this constant dragging brake.
I don’t think psychadelics can get me out of this, i tried weed once and man did i have a bad time. I’ve always had this: “i wouldn’t mind not existing/suicide would be great right about now” kind of brain and the weed didn’t help the worse part of that battle.
Mental health care in the Netherlands is really terrible. I’m surprised you even got 3 sessions without being on a waiting list for months first. I guess you went to a ‘praktijkondersteuner’ at your GP? Those know fuck all and really aren’t any help. I had one literally tell me “usually I help people figure out what’s bothering them and once they know they can solve it, but you already know what’s bothering you, I can’t really help you”. Then I was put on waiting list for months, talked to a different guy for 1 hour, back on another waiting list for months.
At one point I literally called them and asked why it was taking so long (after waiting for months) and they said: oh, we have an opening next week, you can come then. Like, WTF, if you had an opening, why did I only find out after calling when you have a literal list of people waiting for evaluation? In the end I went to a psychologist (one of those ‘Sjakie’ types) for a year or two, which didn’t really help at all. Until they told me they couldn’t do anything more for me.
I get the feeling that if you want real help you need to go to a private practice an pay for everything yourself, which is crazy expensive.
