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Joined 7 months ago
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Cake day: December 1st, 2023

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  • I can’t blame people for not wasting energy on a child that needs a lot more structure, support and training.

    Nah. Just different choices in all of these. I have ADHD. Most of the problems are not about trying to achieve the same things as others do, but trying to achieve them the same way others do. After solving that there are still downsides, but these are not qualitative.

    It takes very little to notice which things don’t work and don’t try them again. A parent who doesn’t care about this is a bad parent, and an educator who ignores this is simply malicious. At least in my experience people would very easily change their approaches.

    Including very traditional-minded people and those denying the condition itself (“you don’t have a disorder, you just need to do things your own way” is ignorant, but really better than using others’ conditions to attack them, and I’ve heard this really often ; definitely better than “oh, it’s so sad, I really hope everything will be good with you, I really like your imagination and hope you’ll give it more attention, but it seems you won’t change, we are too different, don’t write me anymore”, said in 20x the amount of words, in relationships).

    Those who wouldn’t were either insulted by some perceived lack of respect and tried to prove that I’m stupid, needless to say that lack of respect became genuine then (like a few school teachers and university professors, but not all of them ; or peers of the “dumb and uninventive, but proud of being capable of stealing something” kind), or ignorant idiots of the Soviet generation afraid of anything connected to mental health (like my dad, what’s even dumber I’m confident he was autistic too).

    With such carelessness or lack of awareness, I cannot blame someone for not thinking and just running away. If someone is seemingly shortsighted, unreliable or uncaring, why stay with them? Or starting a relationship with them with no certainty things will improve? It’s wrong to believe you can change or fix someone, it is foolish to try when you don’t.

    Humans have invented words to discuss all those things. If it’s about spending possibly the rest of your life alongside someone, being reluctant to talk is just strange. Yes, if the other person thinks they know better and this shouldn’t be discussed in detail, then no chance.

    Unless that other person is too autistic, ha-ha. Then that particular kind of problems one can just write off.


  • Retarded is a synonym of mentally underdeveloped. If that’s not the case, then it’s just used incorrectly.

    Usually because of social disdain for your behavior, and intended to degrade you into a lesser person than them.

    Usually starts when your position on something irritates people who don’t have any arguments other than your condition.

    You’ve literally described how people around you make mistakes and put their weight on you. You are trying to reach them, but they are not trying to reach you. That’s just wrong kind of people. I have friends and even neighbors not like this. Don’t try to be good enough for some filth.

    I don’t care what people call having multiple mental disabilities. What’s important is helping children on the spectrum. Early detection could have spared me further brain damage and subsequent stacking of developmental problems.

    I care about both, but it’s correct at least that people with such conditions should know about them as early as possible, to help with the challenges presented.

    People shouldn’t think that starting a family with someone autistic is just “going to be a little different.”

    Where I live people overthink that a lot. Somebody who had a few abusive relationships still thinks that one with an autistic person is worse because they are disabled or because they are crazy or some other ignorant caveman shit.

    But you are right that for an autistic person a relationship with someone not conscious of all this is an idea that will fail without doubt. Because such people don’t even know that one can think about relationships, it all works instinctively for them. They react to any diversion from the usual path the same way a Windows user reacts to a BSOD. They don’t even see that nothing particularly bad has happened, are afraid to think and just run away.


  • This is just a misunderstanding of statistics. Something being true for the average doesn’t mean it’s true for separate points.

    But in average that’s a bit like calling homosexualism a disability.

    I like the border between disability and just neurodivergence to be drawn where it needs to be cured with medicine or you turn into a vegetable or can’t survive. Like with schizophrenia, or maybe BPD. With autism and ADHD most of the problems are from trying to follow procedures for people who are different and imitate them, and most of the solutions are about teaching people with these conditions to drop those imitations and know themselves. I mean, medicine helps, but the problems it solves are too mostly about network effect.


  • or end a relationship

    Rather that relationship doesn’t even start, not because you insult someone (that happens, but you’re forgiven), not because you are not likeable (I thought I’m that for a long time, and lots of moments I am), but because you just don’t (despite being hit on by people amazingly beautiful and interesting and intelligent and sending electric shocks your way by simply texting you).

    Though I guess someone giving you chances for over a year qualifies as a relationship which ends at some point. Just dysfunctional.

    There is nothing good with ADHD.

    It gives incentives to be a kinder person. You feel emotions connected to hurt\comfort more acutely than those connected to prestige, power, dominance. You dream far and swift. You don’t care about lying (EDIT: I meant that you don’t lie, not the opposite).

    Any time I want to say what you said and recount all the suffering, I notice that I like it more than the alternative.

    Also I still think it can be an equal exchange in a world more friendly to ADHD people.

    EDIT: And it can be used against fear.









  • That you can’t do something well or at all without understanding it is philosophy. Philosophy is weak in the sense that it exists on the same level as aesthetics or instincts. So it’s fighting instinct in a system built to make crowd management through instinct convenient, - in disadvantaged position.

    Also NT people like to champion their stupidest ideas as a banner to assemble under. Stupidest exactly to exclude any rational reason, so that only the feeling of community would remain.

    They don’t always say what they mean. They might say “this thing is better”, but what they mean is “I’m with the group which distinguishes itself by support for this thing, don’t be against us”.


  • Oh, and it’s been potentially backdoored by the FSB (Russia’s CIA) for six years.

    From the very start rather.

    And there’s been a few cases where not FSB, but mundane police was reading suspects’ messages before arresting them.

    Don’t trust Telegram, I use it because, eh, most people use either that or VK DMs in Russia as the default IM. But never trust it for something which should be secret.

    You can even have “opposition”-themed channels there or call for rebellions, but don’t ever expect anything to be secret or even pseudonymous. Even without ill intent regularly flaws are found which allow to get a lot of information, and the code quality is sewer-level.