If I am walking through the forest and a sink hole opens up underneath me, and I fall in and can’t get out, I am involuntarily in that hole.
That’s not how we use the word, though. Nobody calls that “involuntary” if it’s just a hole that happened to be there. If somebody put you in the hole, then it’s involuntary. The way “involuntary” is used in English, there is a connotation of an entity with a will that overrides your will.
If How to Win Friends isn’t a good book, then read a different one. There are even ones about relationships for autistic people now. Don’t complain that there are too many. That’s why we have ratings. When you say “the floodgates are open”, you’re just trying to blame somebody else for your lack of effort.
But from your description of it, I can tell that you didn’t actually try How to Win Friends. IIRC, the first lesson is “smile”. Then, there are other lessons like, “practice giving genuine compliments” and “use people’s names when talking to them.” Literally, all you have to do is follow the instructions, and you’ll have better results. But it sounds like you rejected the advice without trying it. Or in other words, no effort, blame the author and the people who recommended it. It’s really the same thing over and over.
I never blamed women for my sex life.
You literally described it that way in your first comment: “trying to figure out how to get women to have sex with me”. You could have said, “trying to figure out how to have sex with women,” but you didn’t. You phrased it that way because that’s how you think about it. You blamed the women, and you still do.
But boy howdy. You really want to compare yourself to starving subsistence farmers in Africa?
Overall, there is a lot of dishonesty in your last comment. I’m trying to figure out whether it’s that you simply refuse to admit the truth to yourself, or if you’re doing it intentionally.
That’s not how we use the word, though. Nobody calls that “involuntary” if it’s just a hole that happened to be there. If somebody put you in the hole, then it’s involuntary. The way “involuntary” is used in English, there is a connotation of an entity with a will that overrides your will.
The reason the term “involuntary” is used is to differentiate from voluntary celibates, like Catholic priests, who the cultural zeitgeist most readily associates with the word “celibate”. You’re reading too much into it.
Don’t complain that there are too many. That’s why we have ratings. When you say “the floodgates are open”, you’re just trying to blame somebody else for your lack of effort.
You phrased it that way because that’s how you think about it. You blamed the women, and you still do.
So you are saying I’m lazy, and also misogynistic… Seems weirdly antagonistic for what is essentially a semantics argument. Like, seriously, I’m giving you my personal lived experience, and you’re putting words in my mouth and calling me names. You’re clearly getting way too worked up over this, so I’m gonna end this conversation before your temper tantrum gets worse.
The reason the term “involuntary” is used is to differentiate from voluntary celibates, like Catholic priests, who the cultural zeitgeist most readily associates with the word “celibate”. You’re reading too much into it.
People often intentionally use the wrong words when describing themselves when using the correct words makes them sound bad. “pro life” “national socialism” are a couple of well-known examples.
The first person who used the term “involuntary celibate” was using it for sympathy, not accuracy. “Involuntary” was never the correct word because “celibate” wasn’t the correct word, as “celibate” has the connotation of being a choice. They used the wrong term because something like “sexless” doesn’t get sympathy.
Like, seriously, I’m giving you my personal lived experience, and you’re putting words in my mouth and calling me names.
I probably shouldn’t have talked about “you” so much, but the reason I did is that you are talking not only about yourself, but about the subject, and I realized that you haven’t actually changed, and that you still need help. And I don’t remember calling you any names. And I’m not putting words in your mouth. I am literally quoting you. I am using your choice of words to expose you to yourself.
That’s not how we use the word, though. Nobody calls that “involuntary” if it’s just a hole that happened to be there. If somebody put you in the hole, then it’s involuntary. The way “involuntary” is used in English, there is a connotation of an entity with a will that overrides your will.
If How to Win Friends isn’t a good book, then read a different one. There are even ones about relationships for autistic people now. Don’t complain that there are too many. That’s why we have ratings. When you say “the floodgates are open”, you’re just trying to blame somebody else for your lack of effort.
But from your description of it, I can tell that you didn’t actually try How to Win Friends. IIRC, the first lesson is “smile”. Then, there are other lessons like, “practice giving genuine compliments” and “use people’s names when talking to them.” Literally, all you have to do is follow the instructions, and you’ll have better results. But it sounds like you rejected the advice without trying it. Or in other words, no effort, blame the author and the people who recommended it. It’s really the same thing over and over.
You literally described it that way in your first comment: “trying to figure out how to get women to have sex with me”. You could have said, “trying to figure out how to have sex with women,” but you didn’t. You phrased it that way because that’s how you think about it. You blamed the women, and you still do.
But boy howdy. You really want to compare yourself to starving subsistence farmers in Africa?
Overall, there is a lot of dishonesty in your last comment. I’m trying to figure out whether it’s that you simply refuse to admit the truth to yourself, or if you’re doing it intentionally.
The reason the term “involuntary” is used is to differentiate from voluntary celibates, like Catholic priests, who the cultural zeitgeist most readily associates with the word “celibate”. You’re reading too much into it.
So you are saying I’m lazy, and also misogynistic… Seems weirdly antagonistic for what is essentially a semantics argument. Like, seriously, I’m giving you my personal lived experience, and you’re putting words in my mouth and calling me names. You’re clearly getting way too worked up over this, so I’m gonna end this conversation before your temper tantrum gets worse.
People often intentionally use the wrong words when describing themselves when using the correct words makes them sound bad. “pro life” “national socialism” are a couple of well-known examples.
The first person who used the term “involuntary celibate” was using it for sympathy, not accuracy. “Involuntary” was never the correct word because “celibate” wasn’t the correct word, as “celibate” has the connotation of being a choice. They used the wrong term because something like “sexless” doesn’t get sympathy.
I probably shouldn’t have talked about “you” so much, but the reason I did is that you are talking not only about yourself, but about the subject, and I realized that you haven’t actually changed, and that you still need help. And I don’t remember calling you any names. And I’m not putting words in your mouth. I am literally quoting you. I am using your choice of words to expose you to yourself.