so I decided to no longer speak to my ex because we were actually very close still even after breaking up but he was giving me less attention and wasn’t there anymore. Wouldn’t properly listen to me and stuff and it made me feel belittled. We stopped talking 5 days ago but it ended kind of petty way so I messaged him a long message yesterday being thankful and stating why and when I got hurt and that I am proud of him for other things. He did the same. He did mention that he’s more appreciative of me after not talking for a bit and he see’s how much I care and he’s embarrassed by the way he had acted and all of those things. He regrets not calling me his “girlfriend” and all of that. But now we are done since we haven’t texted since the closure. He knows how much I tried to make things work and he said he felt like an idiot for not seeing that blah blah.
I am getting over it but I think what hurts most about this closure is that he states all of these things but then again if he wanted to make things work or regrets anything in any way, why not try? Or try before? U know? He holds such a big amount on my heart and it breaks me so much to see all my effort gone to waste and someone never fighting for me. I just want someone to fight for me and want me regardless. If you want something, you do everything you can to take it. He just wasn’t emotionally mature and it sucks.
This is one where the passing of time will really be the only thing that helps. A breakup like that is essentially a grieving process in my experience. When I was younger and still dating I found that trying to lose myself in something (anything) helped after a painful one like this. Movies, games, walks, time with friends, reading - whatever switches your brain off from the grief for a while.
For what it’s worth, it sounds like you absolutely made the right call. Being with someone that’s not emotionally there for you (and in particular, anyone who is belittling) is very, very wearing and detrimental to both your mental health and self confidence. It can be a tough call, but breaking up is the right one.
When you’ve had a chance to gather yourself you will hopefully meet someone more suitable who will be emotionally available, empathetic and fight for your relationship.