so I decided to no longer speak to my ex because we were actually very close still even after breaking up but he was giving me less attention and wasn’t there anymore. Wouldn’t properly listen to me and stuff and it made me feel belittled. We stopped talking 5 days ago but it ended kind of petty way so I messaged him a long message yesterday being thankful and stating why and when I got hurt and that I am proud of him for other things. He did the same. He did mention that he’s more appreciative of me after not talking for a bit and he see’s how much I care and he’s embarrassed by the way he had acted and all of those things. He regrets not calling me his “girlfriend” and all of that. But now we are done since we haven’t texted since the closure. He knows how much I tried to make things work and he said he felt like an idiot for not seeing that blah blah.
I am getting over it but I think what hurts most about this closure is that he states all of these things but then again if he wanted to make things work or regrets anything in any way, why not try? Or try before? U know? He holds such a big amount on my heart and it breaks me so much to see all my effort gone to waste and someone never fighting for me. I just want someone to fight for me and want me regardless. If you want something, you do everything you can to take it. He just wasn’t emotionally mature and it sucks.
Disclaimer: I speak as a 50+ (French) dude happily sharing his life with his spouse for the last 25+ years and counting.
This may take time. What you need to not do is ruminating. Once a story is over, no matter how heartbreak it feels, it’s over. The more time you spend grooming your nostalgia and regrets, the harder it will be to move on.
I will completely disagree with this. Maturity is not doing whatever is required to get whatever it is one wants. Even less so in a relationship. Accepting the other is not the perfect faultless ideal person one may dhave dreamed of and then being able to listen and accept the other’s limits, doubts, fears and, obviously, feeling that it’s ok to share yours as well, is what maturity is supposed to be. At least that’s how I see it.
I agree. But he wasn’t emotionally mature. He left when things got slightly hard. Maybe for the better. I forgave him for when he hurt me. But he couldn’t deal with his emotions.