Then you accidentally hit the AuDHDer who is excitedly documenting who is wearing which costume each year and taking which candy. Future archeologists will love their work.

I used to go to the retirement home in the cul-de-sac down the road. No kids really thought about going there, they’d just stay on their own roads and streets. The old lonely folks there were practically waiting at the door, all outside lights on. My friend and I would make out like bandits every year with big bars, popcorn balls, homemade fudge and cake bars. Literal pillowcases full of top shelf candy and baked goods.

Joke’s on you, I shut off all my lights and pretend nobody is home on Halloween

Joke’s on you, I’ve got two grocery bags full of candy and I don’t give a fuck