Decades ago, I knew a person that was in a group of swingers. What she said rang true then as it does today. She said, they’re tons of people out there for everyone, It’s just usually not the people that they want to be with.
Everybody’s punching up. Evolutionary pressure makes us want to find the best mate and only accept advantageous proposals.
The diversity in preferences makes “up” impossible to define and order consistently between people. If you take a survey of a population for an ordered ranking, in desire ability as potential spouses, of a particular sample set, you might get wildly different rankings.
And then those same people might rank things differently depending on who they would most want to have a one night stand with.
Even laying out specific physical characteristics and asking about attractiveness will get those isolated features ranked differently. Heterosexual men will disagree on whether it is attractive, unattractive or neutral for a woman to be:
Being very tall
Being very short
Having an athletic build
Having pale skin
Having curly hair
Having tattoos
Having a Ph.D.
Speaking multiple languages
Being Christian
Being vegetarian
We’re all just looking for compatibility. What that means will vary from person to person, and what is very attractive to one person might be a huge turn off to another.
I’m generally of the view that you want to be with someone whose unique traits are positive to you, and who sees your unique traits as positives, too. That way both can fall within that stable equilibrium of both believing that they’ve married “up.”
I can help you with that. Just carry a long (2-3 meters would be sufficient) metal rod with you. If you can’t afford a metal rod/pipe that long then try wooden stick but still coil it with some wire. You should touch the wire, a few loops on the top of the stick isn’t enough. You’re welcome (no idea why you want what you want, but who am I to judge?)
“everyone’s punching up” ignores the influence of personality and compatibility though
To me appearance isn’t that important (as long as it’s feminine), what is though, us how much I like their personality, and that’s not only subjective, but also something that can be worked on. Moreover, if you like someone’s personality, chances are they like yours too, because at that point a lot of it is about compatibility as well (if I like someone who likes DnD, chances are they do the same, right?)
Humans are too much of social creatures for it to be a simple measure of “who’s hotter” evolutionary speaking
“everyone’s punching up” ignores the influence of personality and compatibility though
I don’t intend to create a mathematical model of the whole of dating in a single post. Punching up isn’t just on looks, it’s on everything. Emotional, social, psychological, physical and familial baggage all count.
There is, of course, room for compatibility. People need to find people who enjoy doing things together, but the masses out there who can’t find someone can’t all just be waiting on someone who likes to play certain types of games. Find a reasonably workable person that is willing to accept you, if you hit it off, they’ll come around to do the things you do to spend time with you.
Decades ago, I knew a person that was in a group of swingers. What she said rang true then as it does today. She said, they’re tons of people out there for everyone, It’s just usually not the people that they want to be with.
Everybody’s punching up. Evolutionary pressure makes us want to find the best mate and only accept advantageous proposals.
The diversity in preferences makes “up” impossible to define and order consistently between people. If you take a survey of a population for an ordered ranking, in desire ability as potential spouses, of a particular sample set, you might get wildly different rankings.
And then those same people might rank things differently depending on who they would most want to have a one night stand with.
Even laying out specific physical characteristics and asking about attractiveness will get those isolated features ranked differently. Heterosexual men will disagree on whether it is attractive, unattractive or neutral for a woman to be:
We’re all just looking for compatibility. What that means will vary from person to person, and what is very attractive to one person might be a huge turn off to another.
I’m generally of the view that you want to be with someone whose unique traits are positive to you, and who sees your unique traits as positives, too. That way both can fall within that stable equilibrium of both believing that they’ve married “up.”
Bitch, I would settle for a slime mold named Jartholomew at this point. I got nothing. Not even lightning wants to touch me
I can help you with that. Just carry a long (2-3 meters would be sufficient) metal rod with you. If you can’t afford a metal rod/pipe that long then try wooden stick but still coil it with some wire. You should touch the wire, a few loops on the top of the stick isn’t enough. You’re welcome (no idea why you want what you want, but who am I to judge?)
The real advice is always in the comments
I was wondering for a few seconds how a metal rod is going to help you catch slime mold…
“everyone’s punching up” ignores the influence of personality and compatibility though
To me appearance isn’t that important (as long as it’s feminine), what is though, us how much I like their personality, and that’s not only subjective, but also something that can be worked on. Moreover, if you like someone’s personality, chances are they like yours too, because at that point a lot of it is about compatibility as well (if I like someone who likes DnD, chances are they do the same, right?)
Humans are too much of social creatures for it to be a simple measure of “who’s hotter” evolutionary speaking
I don’t intend to create a mathematical model of the whole of dating in a single post. Punching up isn’t just on looks, it’s on everything. Emotional, social, psychological, physical and familial baggage all count.
There is, of course, room for compatibility. People need to find people who enjoy doing things together, but the masses out there who can’t find someone can’t all just be waiting on someone who likes to play certain types of games. Find a reasonably workable person that is willing to accept you, if you hit it off, they’ll come around to do the things you do to spend time with you.