Just came across this question on reddit and tbh…i don’t know
People have always told me(including my parents) that i am very antisocial, i don’t know how to speak, i don’t smile often, i’m shy, i look very judgemental or i’m just too egotistic…so i don’t know if i’m actually someone worth hanging out with
And no i didn’t make all these things up i have heard it all my life from my parents, teachers, friends etc.
I don’t know if its just my luck or something about my looks or the way i speak but people don’t really hold back against me
So what about y’all?
Probably not. I don’t really want to be around people who act like me. I’ve done a decent job of reigning in my most asocial behaviours, but they still get through.
On the flip side, other people seem to like the version of myself that I currently project, so I think I’m doing a good enough job.
I know that feeling too well. I honestly can no longer tell when I have started doing that or how much of it was originally there
If the new you is closer to the person you want to be, isn’t that a win?
I feel like I do this enough that it becomes a comfortable habit. Occasionally, I still want to interrupt people to tell them how wrong they are, or how right I am, or just become the centre of attention. But that isn’t who I want to be. And that urge seems to diminish as I learn to listen and ask questions, and then that becomes more of a habit.
But I guess it depends on what you’re editing.
Yeah, never thought if it like that. I always kinda felt like I lost something, that I conformed rather than maybe just bettering myself.
The version I present nowadays usually is better socially adapted and better able to integrate itself into a conversation than how I behaved maybe ten years ago
That seems positive. But it’s your call.
For me, “conforming” means listening, considering my audience, controlling interjections, and asking people about stuff. I don’t feel like I’m denying myself, I feel like I’m being more considerate.
I can see how other kinds of conformance could be awful. Denying one’s sexuality or something like that.
It’s nothing that drastic, maybe I just find it hard to differentiate between natural change over time and stuff I pretended to have changed to better fit in
Masking is exhausting
The more times I read this, the deeper it gets.