It’s not so bad once you’ve got your teeth into the problem

assuming you can code, that is

I usually use the name of the drug when there are multiple brands with trade names for it, or when there are trade-name drugs that use multiple formulations with different ingredients.

For example, famotodine is the active agent in Pepcid and Zantac. Omeprazole is sold as Prilosec and Losec. Acetaminophen is in Tylenol, Tempra, and Panadol

When I want Pseudoephedrine and not phenylephrine, they’re both branded under the trade name ‘Sudafed’ but only one of them really works for sinus pressure.

When I want Dextromethorphan or Guaifenesin (active ingredients in Robitussin) there are lots of other brands (Nyquil, dayquil, etc) that deliver them and knowing which drug is which and what part they do means I can pick which one to use if I don’t want the other one’s shitty side effects.

I met my wife while I was shrooming That was 23 years ago We’re still together

Y’know, if you don’t bother writing the history after bothering to win the war and then letting the enemy go home and be governors, judges, congressmen and senators and presidents anyhow, you’ll end up how the United States did after its civil war.

Prisons don’t make money

That’s just untrue. Private for-profit prisons were a multi-billion-dollar industry for too long.

Also, they made enough money to bribe judges to sentence more people to longer terms so they could make more money.

Private prisons promised to be ‘more efficient’ and cost less per prisoner than public prisons, but typically their pattern of operations was to cut costs as much as possible and still charge the taxpayer more per prisoner than public prisons- and it got so out of hand that at one point it cost the taxpayer more per year to incarcerate a criminal than it would have to send him to Harvard for that year. Also under private prison administration, no effort was made at all to rehabilitate prisoners- their business was really based on recidivism, it was very much in their interest for prisoners to re-offend and end up back in prison.

Convict leasing on top of that is plain slavery, and the prospect of money to be made leasing convicts slaves for labor has corrupted America’s justice system, particularly in confederate states, ever since the 13th Amendment was penned.

Most of the things in the list above are just circumstances where misunderstandings arise and it’s not uncommon for autistic self-care (like withdrawing, not paying attention, etc) to be mistaken for disrespect.

When I was a kid, these misunderstandings sometimes led to me getting beat up. Now that I’m a larger-than-average adult man, the bullying and schoolyard nonsense doesn’t happen but the misunderstandings and ensuing anger can take the form of grievances that have a way of turning into career-limiting drama. It’ still bullying, it’s just done the way adults bully.

These are all deeply frustrating, circumstantially stupid, and they all arise from an ignorant mistake in which me being inattentive or low on social energy or just having a hard time turns into them ‘feeling disrespected’.

It can be exhausting when people take offense when none was honestly on offer- and the resulting dominance nonsense that sometimes ensues when they’re petty about it has me a little convinced that too many adult people out there really don’t distinguish between respect and submission to their weird dominance games

The important part is to increase awareness that Autism is a disability and to ask for tolerance understanding and accommodation.

I try to help.

If we’re using the language of disability, ‘understanding and accommodation’ seems to afford its subjects a degree of dignity. We tend not to ask for ‘tolerance’ on behalf of the disabled, after all.

Skill issue? Okay- it’s a well-landed burn.

But more on the button, it’s an insecurity issue. You can be low-skilled (maybe a beginner?) and not try to bully women when you’re getting beat or in your feels about it. It’s always the insecure men that do this.

lol shut up brain

Sorry if this seems stupid.

It’s not stupid. It’s where I was for a while (I’m in my 50s now) figuring a d/x would tell me what I probably already knew but would also carry a bit of a stigma with it. Like you, I’d learned to adapt, but the thing I didn’t see for myself was how hard I’d been working to hide that there was anything to adapt to.

At my wife’s urging, I sought an evaluation and in retrospect I’m very glad I did. The results came back mostly telling me things I already knew (I’m super-smart in specific ways, distinctly average in particular ways) but the thing I didn’t see coming was that a d/x would put my marriage in the context of my Autism, and that means my wife gives me grace she didn’t before when it comes to my hyperfocus and attention deficits, for when I need to leave social situations because I’m out of my social-energy budget, stuff like that.

Things that used to annoy or embarrass my wife (that when a social situation became too much for me I’d ghost, that I’d struggle in circumstances where unfairness feels intolerable, etc.) now show up to her as me responsibly doing self-care, or as me living my values as my identity- and instead of bending herself to fixing those broken parts of me, she understands that these are just me doing my best job of peopling in the face of how my brain works. Long story short, being understood in this light gets me better understood, I’ll never regret it. Not feeling like I’m an imposter with broken parts that must be hidden is sooooo good.

After recognizing the value of this dynamic in my marriage (and in my relationships with my wife’s friends) I made it a project to recreate it in my workplace- and it happens that as my co-workers re-contextualized my foibles and eccentricities into that light, it became a lot easier for me to ask the kinds of questions I’ve long not asked for fear of looking dumb- and they’re more than happy to answer and so much has gotten so much easier. Not feeling like I have to mask is a great big relief.

Along the way, freeing myself up in the contexts of my marriage and in my career, I’ve found ways to be a better parent as well as be a husband and co-worker. It’s as if masking doesn’t work.

Of course, like any good denizen of the spectrum™, I’ve made unpacking my own neurodiversity into a special interest. It explains soooo much. (there’s too much to pithily explain, I’ll spare you the info dumping in this thread)

Perhaps non-intuitively, recognizing all the ways I’ve been living life the hard way (masking, avoiding social interactions I’ve been thirsty to participate in for fear of being too weird) brings quite a bit of grief with it- why did I do all that the hard way when it’s easier not to? Processing all of that is quite a bit of work, but it’s oh so liberating.

There’s so much.

• My sports- all of them are things I got into and hard- They became my special interests. I’d get so deeply into whitewater kayaking that eventually I would paddle with professionals and other experts, become an instructor and influencer myself- and then, move on to other so-called ‘extreme’ sports like backcountry skiing and rock climbing- and today, competitive cycling.

• My ability to disappear into writing code for hours without awareness of time elapsing.

• That I’ve figured out I need a place to retreat to in social situations when I’m out of social energy, but didn’t understand that was a thing for neuro-spicy folk. When attending social occasions with my wife, we’ve figured out it’s best to take 2 cars so I can bail on the scene when doing that becomes a matter of self-care.

• The experience, when trying to explain my experiences, of my brain opening multiple browser-tabs as mental placeholders for tangents the conversation has taken or might take

• The experience of understanding an idea or dynamic in terms that aren’t language-bound (like it might have a shape, or play out as a dialectic, or have tensors representing oppositional vectors in its space), then having to translate it into language regular people find accessible

• The constant concern about being misunderstood because it seems to happen so often

• The white-hot sense of justice and how not living up to my own standards can be intolerable