The background companies we go through here in the US aren’t “random people” and you sign a release of that information for them when they start that background check. So you’ve given them permission to access that info on you. I don’t know what HRs your dealing with but if it’s random hiring managers asking you then they have no idea what’s in a typical background check anyway.

Most big background check service companies are checking your criminal history directly with the court houses of where you’ve told them you’ve lived. Many will also verify your past employment directly with those companies as well. Depending on the company/job title they may also be checking your credit score/bankruptcy history or verifying degrees with universities as well. They don’t care about what data brokers have on you because they’re getting verification on things directly from official sources.

I don’t know if you’re worried that your too “locked down” privacy wise for a background check to clear? I wouldn’t worry because if you’re using your countries equivalent of a SSN and living “on the grid” but not online at all they’ll still be able to get the info they need/want anyway. I’ve had employees who didn’t even have emails or own phones/computers clear background.

I can’t figure out if she has even asked for his help on this, if she hasn’t then perhaps he should just back off until she does.

There might ve some improvement with medication for some people.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4120250/

And some training may improve working memory, although there seems to be some disagreement about how much.

https://link.springer.com/article/10.3758/s13423-024-02466-8#:~:text=Meta-analyses have found that,tasks for assessment and training.

So object permanence is way more extreme than what most people with ASD or ADHD experience. You can demonstrate a lack of object permanence in young children by presenting them with a toy and then covering the toy with a blanket, while they child is watching. The child will react as if the object is gone and be unable to find the toy. It’s at some point in the toddler phase where most children pick up object permanence. For example you’d expect a 4 year old to lift the blanket they saw you place over the toy.

With ADHD it’s an attention/working memory issue. I’d expect an ND adult to know to look under the blanket they saw placed over an object immediately after it happened. Someone without object permanence couldn’t do that. It’s why peek-a-boo is a fun game for babies but not ADHD adults.

but communities know each other and are less likely to see different constituent groups as “outsiders”

Tell that to every gay kid who grew up in a small rural Christian town…

form their own peacekeepers

So you expect every marginalized group to have their own personal cops? What about cross-sectional minorities. I don’t know how this works in your head but whatever you’re trying to say here is not translating well.

I assume you’d go to the owner of the instance that hosts that particular community.

So someone who is allistic is likely going to have very little issue with the “shirt is blue” and moving on with their day. Just because someone is allistic doesn’t mean they are neurotypical, the common implication otherwise is just a pet peeve of mine.

The fact that the vagueness of the statement bothers you this much suggests to me that you are talking about an autistic more than adhd trait but ymmv.

Missing social cues is adhd related. Not understanding implied social cues is more autism related. Many people with one have the other so it can be hard to separate them.

Not maybe, yes. Thats what it means. “Water ditching” is a common colloquial name for an “emergency water landing” which is a type of emergency landing. A plane doing a nose dive straight into the water is not an emergency landing. That’s just a run of the mill crash.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_landing

The US forest service says it’s 90% but I’m not sure where they get that number from either.

https://www.fs.usda.gov/Internet/FSE_DOCUMENTS/stelprdb5139786.pdf

The lungs could be in the human half but just be far larger than typical human lungs. If the organs in the lower part of a human torso are in the horse half it would make room for more lung in the human torso. I don’t imagine you want too much room between the nose/mouth and the lungs if you can help it.

Isn’t there literally a German fairy tale about someone able to make straw into gold?

I’ll leave you with this OP, you need to have a discussion with your GF about where the line is for both of you with how much you are prioritizing this particular friend especially given the background. Even more so since your GF has been cheated on before.

The fact that you are prioritizing your friend after already crossing the line with her multiple times, and failing to set even a single reasonable boundary, would be a massive red flag for me. Actions speak louder than words. Think about what actions your GF is seeing, that will matter more than you just telling her you “love” her. Your actions are also leading on your friend and indicating (to her and multiple people even in this thread) that you are open to a romantic relationship with her.

I’m a bit older and would have no patience for how much more care and consideration youre showing this friend than your GF consistently. Your girlfriend sounds like she’s far more forgiving of infidelity in a partner than I would be, so she may be OK with still being in a relationship with you while you continue to prioritize someone whose shown a great deal of disrespect for her and your relationship. How your relationship works with this friendship is something you two should probably discuss explicitly.

If OPs GF is really reading this: you deserve someone who will prioritize you over their affair partner.

Best of luck to you both.

So this is actually really important context OP. If you’ve “overstepped” with this friend before then your GF may already feel a bit cheated on. For you to leave her birthday to specifically meet this particular friend given your background info? That’s a pretty devastating blow to the trust in your relationship.

There is no socially acceptable way to tell your GF “I needed a break from you , on your birthday, so I went to hang out with a woman actively trying to get me to cheat on you with her.” Because it definitely sounds like thats what this friend was trying to do, if she’s allistic there is no world in which she wasn’t trying to take you on a date. (I understand meeting your friend wasn’t preplanned, that matters very little here.)

Honestly OP I know you said in another comment that it hurt you that your GFs friends told her to break up with you but I’m seriously surprised she didn’t. This is gonna sound mean but I really just want to be as clear as possible, so I appologize for how blunt and rude Im gonna be in this next part. I just want to make sure you understand whats likely happening in you GFs social circle. Full disclosure, if I had the information from these comments and was your GFs friend I would be telling her, “He cheated on you on your birthday, and he’ll do it again. You need to break up with him. He doesnt care about you. Hes more into his friend.” And I’d be repeating it to her every single time you saw this particular friend. It’s wild to me that you’re not single right now. I don’t know of a single allistic person who would read this story, with the added context, and not assume youre at least trying to cheat on your girlfriend. If you want this to have a chance with your GF given her history of being cheated on then you may need to put this friendship on the backburner.

On the flip side, it does sound like you might care more about this friend than your girlfriend. Given the sexual orientations that you’ve outlined elsewhere have you considered dating this friend instead of your GF? All three of you might be happier? Just food for thought.

So I accidentally stumbled in here and I’m making some broad and very possibly weong assumptions that most everyone else in this story is allistic. If that isn’t true you can probably ignore this, my bad.

That said OP if your GF is allistic, and especially if this is a newer relationship, you may need to tell her that she needs to clarify her expectations explicitly with you in this area. If she is allistic there is no chance she’ll have thought she had to ask you “please don’t abandon me on my birthday to go on a classic date with someone other than me.” To an allistic bystander this whole story reads like you care more about this friend than your girlfriend who you dont seem to really like all that much. (Not saying it’s true just that that is gonna be the social impression given off). Also, if you didn’t do something romantic still leaving your partners party to go hang out with a friend will still largely be interpreted as prioritizing that friend over your girlfriend. I’m not sure if that’s what you were trying to do but that’s what allistic people who hear this story will assume. So if she was OK with you leaving the party to hang out with this friend nonromantically (which seems unlikely) you may want to include “my GF told me she was fine with me leaving her party” when telling this story. Otherwise I think you focusing in on just the romance part may be missing the point, the romance part just made it worse but wasn’t the whole problem.

Also as a side note: if the friend who asked is of a gender you are interested in and knew it was your girlfriends birthday when extending this invite (and is allistic) then your friend was knowingly being an asshole to your girlfriend. Possibly also trying to sabotage your relationship. Just a heads up.

There’s a panel from the Animaniacs comic where Wakko states that his gender is “other”. It floats around the internet ever few years. The comic was, I believe, back in the 90s so I’m not sure I’d say “now”. They have always used the term “brother” and he/him pronouns for Wakko though.

50 shades never actually makes reference to twilight. So while Stephanie Meyer could possibly sue it isn’t the same thing as directly using the exact characters and locations. Harry’s name is right in the title

Because it’s a fanfic entirely written using the world that Rowling setup in her original series. You can’t just publish something that heavily based on already published works.

Beer brewing was originally a field dominated by women.

The presitege associated with a position can also change the expected gender. Women traditionally cooked meals at home but “Chefs” are predominately male, especially famous or celebrated Chefs.

If their issue is with latching then a bottles not gonna change that