I would want “lump of star shit” in my obit.

It’s a lot harder to murder somebody when you actually have to stab them or beat their head in with something.

Life expectancy from birth is easily the most misleading statistic in the history of the social sciences because it is a measure of central tendency (aka an average, specifically, a median) of a property (age at death) that not only has no central tendency but actually has the opposite of a central tendency, with values concentrated at the low end (infant and child mortality) and the high end (old age deaths). In almost all societies ever measured, the life expectancy from birth age is usually the age at which a person is least likely to die.

To add to its misleading nature: demographers usually use the value to express the life chances of the just-born cohort (up to age 5). Since they obviously can’t wait 70 or 80 years until half of that cohort has actually died, they instead use curve-fitting to estimate life expectancy based on infant and child mortality actually experienced by the cohort. People often say that life expectancy from birth is misleading because it’s heavily impacted by infant and child mortality, but this is not quite correct - it’s actually entirely determined by infant and child mortality.

Imagine being proudly offed by Pluto and then they make it not a planet any more.

My Florida (of course) cousins are half-Thai and rabidly anti-immigrant (their father, who was white and also rabidly anti-immigrant married their mother in Thailand in the service and brought her back to the US). It just doesn’t make any earthly sense. For bonus points, they both happen to look vaguely Central American and have been harassed for that all their lives.

I know Qt is cross-platform, but cars? Wow! I only ever used it for shitty Skype clones for Canadian ISPs.

Y’all need Qt Creator: C++ for under the hood and Javascript for the UI. Virtually nonexistent base of coders who can do both competently and if you’re not careful you end up moving to Finland because of it.

I started out with Visual Basic using the Variant type all the time, and even though I was usually just working on one-person projects it was a fucking disaster. You don’t even have to collaborate to see the virtues of strong typing.

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As a programmer with more than a decade of experience, I got a variant of this principal watching newly-minted and utterly useless CS graduates get hired with a salary higher than mine. Only remedy was to quit and go work somewhere else.

I think they meant “near” as in “evenly matched”.

Well, I thought that’s what I was saying.

I mean, most individuals have different size boobs.

In college I asked my crush out to go see a movie. She said (this is an exact quote): “I’d like to, but I won’t.”

I assume you meant “coitus”. Definitely pre-coitus - he had never had sex and I’m willing to bet he still hasn’t ever, 37 years later.

My college was desperate for students and couldn’t afford to kick anybody out. There were people around that did worse shit than this guy and stayed.

I tried to befriend a friendless dude in college. Found out he was friendless because he went around asking women what their “cunt diameter” was. Even women professors!

Wait, Tolkien was English. He didn’t mean “Shire” to be pronounced like we Americans do it?

I just saw a sign this morning that said “Irish Wristwatch - now you know you can’t pronounce it”. The sign was right.

Our ancestors’ brains went from chimpanzee-sized to modern-sized (actually slightly bigger than today) between two million and one million years ago, and more importantly the language-governing areas increased in size during that stretch. So human beings a million years ago were very much like us today, just without the advanced technology.