Terrible. I just realized that I applied to multiple jobs with a typo in my resume. I’ve been agonizing over my applications and my resume for months now. I’ve been re-writing it, re-organizing it, going over everything with a fine tooth comb. However, I somehow missed the typo in the email. I started a new address centered on career stuff with a signature and my name in it. However, the ending is not a .com and it was easy to mistype. Now I’m on the verge of tears because I’m pretty sure this world is unforgiving with stuff like that.

I’m sorry things are so difficult for you right now. I feel lonely quite often. It’s difficult for me to form meaningful connections and it’s only gotten harder the older I get. Hang in there.

Thanks for the kind words! I have a feeling I may need to go up a dose or change/add meds. It’s still messing with my blood pressure and I’m noticing the inner calm part less. It’s been giving me weird aches and pains, though. And My sleep is fucked up. I’m still trying to figure this out both internally and practically.

Finally got an evaluation and my diagnosis. The specialist I was working with said I scored high and recommended amphetamines. My PCP gave me a very low dose extended release Adderall. Today is my first day on it… I feel weird. I don’t feel wired or anything. My blood pressure is lightly elevated, I have a slight headache, and I feel like someone put one of those lead blankets from the dentist’s office on me. I feel calmer and like I should be sleepy… but I’m not sleepy. This is a strange feeling. It slightly feels like when I was on Zoloft, which I liken to walking outside into heavy snow and everything is dampened… but it’s not quite like that either because Zoloft made me into a lazy potato. So, how long does it take for me to get adjust to this? My PCP told me I don’t have to take it daily. I plan on having “off” days when I’m not working or doing grad school stuff.

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