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Joined 4 months ago
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Cake day: March 8th, 2025

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  • My husband and I went to Noord Holland in the Netherlands last year. We had a room in a private house. The owner was this nice old couple. They helped us rent bikes at a local bike shop and we just went everywhere on bike. Every day an hour or two just following the coastline, nothing but the sea, the shore and the sails of the boats in the distance.

    We also went to a hat museum. It was a private museum - basically an old woman who’se been collecting and making hats her entire life. A whole room full of hats from all over the world and she could tell you all about them, how they are made, the cultural signifance etc. Her husband made us tea while we sat there and listened.












  • Just keep telling her she’s awesome. Don’t focus on the legs, just tell her all the things you love about her. And if she directly asks you about them, don’t make it a big deal. Just say “I don’t care, you’re beautiful.” For me the best thing my husband did was to counter the constant onslaught of beauty standards over media by telling me every day what he loves about me and how cool he thinks I am.


  • I’ve been abused (physically and mentally) by my parents and bullied at school. I can obviously only talk about myself, but maybe my experience helps you.

    Understanding, that those people will never care or feel guilt, is hard. Especially when you were abused as a child and hoped for a happy end. Actively trying to get over it also didn’t work very well for me. For me the best thing to do was focus on other things: find friends, find hobbies, do whatever you always wanted to do (I started wearing clothes I was forbidden to wear and practicing hobbies that were ridiculed).

    Just fill your life with things you like and the bullies and abusers will become smaller and smaller.

    Therapy is a good start to help you with this and question yourself, who you are and who you want to be.








  • I’m forty, so a different generation than your parents, but I still grew up and had my first dating experiences before the internet. Online dating wasn’t really a thing here until I was in my early twenties.

    At least where I grew up the guys who randomly approached girls to ask them out were seen as creepy even back in the 90s. I and everyone I knew met partners through activities like sports clubs, parties, bars etc. (I’m not from the US, so people from my school started going to bars pretty early). While there wasn’t a big discourse around men approaching women in public (or none that reached my little town), we did have some guys in town who’d just walk up to girls on the street and ask them out and the consensus was that they were weird and should be avoided.

    I met all my partners so far through activities. My first boyfriend was a regular at the same student café and we ended up sitting next to each other during quiz night. I met guys I had dates with in uni - sitting next to each other during lectures and talking about the Prof, going to the same presentation or cooking night etc. None of them “approached me” in the sense of coming up to me and asking “can I have your number” with zero context. We chatted, had an interesting conversation. At the end we exchanged contact information to meet for a coffee, usually without any expectation of it being a date. When coffee went well, someone would ask the other out on a proper date. No approaching, no deciding within a few seconds wether you want to date someone. Just casually getting to know each other before asking for more.

    I also met my husband that way. We went to the same event, talked, had a lot in common. We met the next day to continue a discussion about a certain topic we were both interested in. That’s when things started getting flirty and by the end we made plans to meet for a real date. I don’t even remember who asked whom, we were both heavily flirting with each by the time we talked about seeing each other again so it was very obvious the next meeting would be a date. He didn’t ask me out out of nowhere or hit on me, we were just getting to know new people and eventually we started flirted somewhere along the line.