I know you don’t want to hear “it depends,” but there is no one rule that would cover all art. Some art is made to communicate specific ideas. Some art is made simply out of self-expression, without intent for any particular audience. Both are valid.

If I doodle in my notebook, it’s for the artist (me.) However, I also draw and paint to communicate specific emotions. I made a painting while listening to “September” by Earth, Wind and Fire, with the intent to capture the energy and joy the song sends through me. I don’t expect anyone to immediately connect the image with the specific song, but since it’s a lively concert scene, my hope is that the emotion that inspired the art comes across to an audience.

Sometimes I’ll make something more abstract, intentionally left open to interpretation. I may have my own thoughts about such pieces, but ultimately I want the viewer to find their own meaning.

In reality, everything is up to the audience. There will always be people who interpret things in their own way, independent of the artist’s intentions. We can’t control what others will think, but learning to tolerate and/or accept people who “don’t get it” is a stage all artists have to go through. I’ve come to accept that there is no one perfect mode of communication, so if I intend to communicate something specific, it’s on me as the artist to put effort into making that message clear.

Same. It it’s important, I’ll try to lead whoever I’m trying to talk to somewhere quieter.

I’m glad to have helped you learn a new term! I never did like the phrase “selective hearing.” It implies that we have a choice in the matter, that we are opting to “selectively” listen or not. Although that might be the case for some people, I personally strain to listen but just can’t filter out irrelevant noise. So it bothers me when someone calls it “selective.”

And even then, the forms are not easy. I helped my girlfriend fill out hers this year (she sustained permanent nerve damage from a car accident several years ago) and you have to explain/justify pretty much everything. You have to explain what you used to do and why you can’t do it anymore. You have to detail what house chores you’re capable of doing, how long it takes you, if someone needs to help you, and so on. It’s pages and pages that require handwritten responses. My hand was hurting several pages in, I can’t imagine someone with nerve damage being able to fill the whole thing out.

Then after all that, you basically have to cross your fingers and hope that your answers aren’t too mild to disqualify you, but also not so extreme that someone will need to investigate/audit you. It’s a frickin’ tightrope, and she’ll have to do it all over again 3 years from now. And three years from then. And so on, for the rest of her life.

I have to do (computerized) paperwork at the end of the shift, and it’s so hard when my coworkers (who are doing the same thing) are talking loudly all around me. I can’t filter out voices the way neurotypical people can, I have a weakened cocktail party effect and it’s hell trying to write anything if even one person talks around me.

Then I see my coworkers standing around in the parking lot chatting after work, and I just think, “Wow, to have the energy to voluntarily socialize after an entire day of work is amazing.” I mean, I know it isn’t amazing to them, but I’m just glad to be back in my quiet car going home, knowing I don’t have to speak to another soul for the rest of the day if I choose not to.

I didn’t read it as an insult. If it was, then “lesbians” was an insult, too. It sounds like OP’s just using the hate-mongers’ own words.

I’ve already bought a 2nd Order of the Phoenix to burn

Weird, you should be able to burn the same copy over and over again. Just wait for the first one to reform from the ashes.

ask for help on pics

I would like to second this point, especially if you’re not practiced at taking selfies. I’ve seen some fine looking men IRL whose profile pictures looked like potato.

It doesn’t have to be this way. People like to help, and most would be happy to see you meet someone special. Might as well ask.

I’m grateful that your kid has a parent that’s looking out for him.

A key part of this meme is how many of us could “pass” in a school environment by one particular metric (grades), yet meeting that metric doesn’t translate to success in life. Passing tests and getting high grades are things that we are told are important, but they only matter for that short period at the beginning of our lives.

As a former ADHD student - getting good grades doesn’t matter as much as developing coping skills that we can use as adults. Schools don’t teach that. They want us to get good grades and obey our teachers, that’s it. As a result, many of us (who were basically trained to be good students) have difficulty transitioning to adult responsibilities, which are very different.

Decades of “teach to the test” and dumbing down of the educational system has resulted in many of us slipping through the cracks when it comes to practical skills. It’s still a lovely thing for a kid to get good grades, but it’s crucial not to consider it the most important part of education.

Thankfully, it sounds like you’re the supportive type of parent. I hope you understand any rants here are not related to you, I’m just still annoyed by the school system and its misplaced priorities.

We use Chromebooks at my work (along with the whole Google suite), and we are bound by the rules of HIPAA. Without a way to opt out of this AI crap, I increasingly worry about what all of this means for our clients’ privacy. Especially with this administration, with RFK deadset on targeting people with disabilities.

Eh, our tastes change with age. I remember as a teen thinking chest hair on men was icky, but in my 20s I began to love it.

It sounds like you successfully matured, and now you may reap the benefits of Xena’s sexy nature.

Almost all retail is a waste of time now.

I tried to go shoe shopping last week. I went into a shoe store and was dismayed that I couldn’t find what materials any of the shoes were made from. Until now, I’d always seen a tag somewhere on every shoe that would say something like, “All man made materials,” or “Leather upper.” But this time, nothing I saw had any indication of what they were made of… and that troubled me.

So after meticulously studying a shoe, reading everything written on it, I asked an employee about it. I wanted her to see if the box (which wasn’t on the display) had more information.

Instead she took the shoe, pulled up the same label I just read (which only indicated where the shoe had been made), and lazily read the tag back to me before handing it back.

I responded, “Yes, I know,” and held back from saying what I REALLY wanted to say, which was, “Yes, I know how to read.”

Utterly useless. She claimed there was no other information even on the box (without going to look.) I put the shoe back and left, resolved to just buy something online.

Now that is a masterful sterile technique. You must teach us more of your ways.

I second Dr Mario. When I first went off to kindergarten, my mom and little brother would play Dr Mario together. It’s perfect for that age range, simple to play and control, with an option for two-player mode.

Of course, but 1 is the loneliest number.

Oh yes, those experiences made me download a white noise app!

For sleep, I have to break all of the “rules.” Have something to concentrate on like a game, video, or book until I feel like I’m “ready.” (Like dropping the phone or controller.)

I am exactly the same. I do switch gears, though. I have to stop using Lemmy when I get into bed - it’s too engaging. Instead I find some Wikipedia page that beckons imagery that I can use to fall asleep to, like reading about Roman aqueducts, or types of ocean waves.

I don’t do music for sleeping, but I do need white noise, usually provided by a fan (or at this time of year, by the window air conditioning unit.) Some of the hardest nights I’ve had were on road trips, staying in a motel where the AC or heat doesn’t run continuously and everything else is dead silent.

Couldn’t we just add equality for sexual orientation and gender expression to a new list of rights, along with the things already mentioned?

OP even said, “Today one could improve on it,” implying that the referenced constitution isn’t meant to be a comprehensive list for the modern day.

I was just about to make a comment about anxiety. It’s something I developed as an adult, which coincides with a better ability to snap out of hyperfocus. I don’t know how I feel about it. On the one hand, I hate when it tries to trick me into believing something that isn’t true. On the other hand, if I didn’t regularly get “pings” of anxiety that make me take stock of my surroundings every so often, I’d be a lot worse at executive functioning. Pings of anxiety remind me that I have something in the oven. Pings of anxiety remind me when I’m driving that I need to pick something up at the store. Pings of anxiety remind me to water my plants.

Sometimes I want to get my anxiety treated, but I’m worried that if I do, I’d spend the whole day in la la land and never get anything done.

… or is that just my anxiety trying to trick me again?

This is a fantastic comment with helpful information and resources.

Though what I really wanted to reply to was your first part, because my god, is it true. Colloquially, a lot of people call this “being on the same wavelength” or sharing a “vibe.” Of all the people I may have called “friends” throughout my life, there are two camps - those I connected with naturally and effortlessly, and those that I felt I carried all the work in maintaining. I learned not to waste my time trying with those in the latter group - if the other person isn’t trying to be friends back, they just don’t want to be friends. It’s better to let them go, and put the ball in their court if they ever wish to come back.

However, the friends in the former group are people I still make and maintain connections to, even now, well into my 30s. These are the ones that share, reflect, and sometimes amplify my energy (for better or for worse.) I have to spend so much time focusing at work these days, it feels really good to hang out with someone afterwards and let my mind run unleashed, knowing there’s no judgement because they ride the same ADHD brain train that I do.

Same, that one is completely unrelatable to me. My boyfriend can do it, but we suspect it’s actually dissociation, a trauma response.

I’ve tried to so many times “clear my mind of thought” as people say to do for meditation, but all the attempts have ever done was leave me more stressed than I was before. My brain does not shut the fuck up. Ever. I’ve been suffering from insomnia as far back as I can recall, all because no matter how tired I am, sometimes my brain just will. not. be. quiet. Everything is a potential stimulus. Any minor sound, the feeling of my bedsheet, even having my partner turn over could remind me of some obscure memory or story or fact, and my brain doesn’t stop, it just changes direction.

Ooh, time for a real life, real time example, because that last sentence reminded me of something. I need to find a new psychologist - I tried explaining this phenomenon to him, and all he responded with was, “So, you have racing thoughts.” I told him no, this isn’t “racing thoughts.” I had one brief episode in my life where I experienced hypomania, where ideas shot a mile a minute and could not slow down - THAT was “racing thoughts.” This is merely “an unending train of thoughts” that travels at my normal speed. They are completely different experiences, with different causes, and that’s crucially important for treatment. But the man just wouldn’t listen, and I can’t trust a doctor that doesn’t listen to their patient’s experiences.

Okay, pivot over, now where were we…