WizardOfLoneliness [they/them, comrade/them]

how to tell you’re an insufferable asshole: you double down on things like “it was just a joke bro” about writing about jerking off into someone’s socks

I didn’t even realize that was an OP original slammer i quoted but if you don’t realize how the quoted line is way less funny and more gross than you think it is then im sorry for every woman in your life having to tolerate you

why even leave reddit if you’re just going to bring it with you

You wouldn’t steal the socks from your best friends sister, then sniff ‘em and jerk off into them and put them back into her laundry basket. Except we all did. At least, I did.

IT’S A SPEEEED SUIT

My partner’s IUD insertions both times have basically crippled her like the worst menstrual pain she’s ever had. Thankfully the second time we had leftover vicodin from a wisdom tooth removal.

It’s super fucked up to me that we have medicine that treats pain incredibly effectively but it’s gatekept from us by a bunch of fucking nerds. Fuck the prescription drug system. If i want a real painkiller I should be able to go out and get some with no questions asked. If I get addicted then fuck me, i’m an adult, I know what I’m about, and it’s not like they couldn’t still restrict access i.e. only allow sale of X doses per week or whatever to help account for shit like that. There’s no good reason to me to have to convince some fucking nerd that I’m in pain and it’s really real and bad enough to need “real drugs” so that that nerd can graciously allow me relief (or just arbitrarily deny it if they feel like it)

this is why i don’t diet and I just instead smoke so much weed my brain breaks and I force myself to exercise way too much through the endocannabinoid haze

the only discipline necessary is the discipline to get riggety ripped

this is also why i don’t worry about being a functioning adult, nobody is a functioning adult, everybody is just fakin it

Some story posted on hexbear about a woman who was antagonized by a misogynist all night who doused him in gasoline and then he was like GO ON, DO IT and then she did it and i laughed so. hard

fuck sidewalks, tree roots can fuck up entire buildings

“What’s wrong with trees” ask people who have never had an allergy or thought about what roots do to all those nice expensive foundations

Wish those UK numbers were lower