Kycnot.me is your friend. Go to a public WiFi (ideally use a VPN), get some Monero, buy a phone plan without KYC.

Why would Europeans care?

Because we have empathy and care about other human beings? I know this is tough for you to wrap around your neckbeard, but most of us humans have the ability to empathize with others

And so is Monero!

Monero all the way. I would never pay using bitcoin but Monero is great and the closest you can get to anonymous payments