If cops aren’t required to know the law, why am I listening to one? An attorney would have been better.

“Snitches get <wounds that will require> stitches” Doesn’t quite roll off the tongue.

Are you saying I just made 5 new best friends??

Kotaku excited to write a story about Ubisoft being excited to let you know Prince of Persia Remake is Still Years Away

Look, planes are hard to draw, OK?

Why buy one steam library when you can buy two for twice the price?

The cost to rent is nearly the same as buying one, might as well pay it forward!

If my understanding of osmosis is correct, just sandwich your head between the pages of a book and the extra knowledge will diffuse out.

I’ll bill you for the headache cure.

The only good joke is a fully explained joke!

The ocean is only marginally explored.

0000-0400 is when my brain says “Finally, you’re not doing anything else. I want to talk to you about all the things in life that worry you and why it’s all your fault”

US student finance is for sure broken. I really hate comparing biological ills to social, though. Nobody graduates high school and says “I’m going to go sign up for cancer”. Nobody says “well, if I knew cancer was going to be cured, I would have got it instead of being a plumber!” This metaphor is breaking down rapidly.

My MIL’s hobby was to edit pictures like this. I wish she was able to move past her trauma.

professional in not being gay

Wait, you’ve been getting paid?! Who do I need to call?

Not me hanging on datahoarder, collecting apocalypse libraries.

Playing chess over LORAWAN

We just say manager.

Well, carve out 1 mortgage perhaps. We have too many safe-havens in real estate.

I think those are threats…

I will die for my freedom to be fucked over by corporations.