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Let’s not forget the survivorship bias at play here. I don’t want to take this somewhere morbid, but the older people you know survived to make it to be old. There were people from their generation with undiagnosed issues that did not.

It’d be real nice if we could celebrate the fact that this is good news on an “uplifting news” community rather than devolving into whataboutism.

Looks like Lejek finally got their own human. Good job Lejek!

I didn’t intend to be dismissive and if my response sounded that way then I apologise.

I agree it’s difficult to be on the receiving end of vague signals, but my perspective is if there’s any annoyance or frustration it should be directed at the violent/angry men who have caused women to feel unsafe.

Helping women feel safer by tackling the violence and misogyny directed at them by men will benefit everyone.

While it might feel rough for you, it’s worth remembering that a lot of women have faced very real threats of violence for their upfront honesty.

If you’re only getting vague signals then maybe that’s the sign that she’s not fully into you.

I’d second this suggestion, I’ve used borg with rsync.net for the past 4 years and it’s been great.

I’m really sorry, I had colitis and it was awful. I really hope you find some relief from it.

Yeah covid was worth vaccinating against if you were above 50 or had other deceases since before, or were overweight and so on.

It was also worth vaccinating against if you were none of these things to ensure that people who couldn’t take the vaccine would benefit from herd immunity.

Gary Oldman is younger than Gary Numan.

Oh wow I never realised I was missing tornado facts from my life but I am genuinely loving learning about this.

I’ve had a lot of good experiences with ear plugs. I’ve used musician’s earplugs to help reduce noise without blocking it out entirely, and while I don’t have personal experience with Loop earplugs I’ve heard a lot of positive things about them.

Regarding seeming “rude” by wearing earplugs: I completely understand the concern here. All I can really offer is that you’re doing something to look after and care for yourself: if other people have a problem with it then its a “them” problem, not a “you” one. This is just a personal method I use to help me get over the worry: I think of myself as a child, and consider how validating it would feel to see an adult wearing hearing protection/whatever else to make them feel comfortable, and how it would help child-me feel more empowered about my own comfort and needs. So I do it for child-me, and if that also gives anyone else a boost or helps them not to feel so awkward then that’s just a win for everyone.

Well I don’t know if it helps, but the way I think of that is that if I didn’t stick to the times, I’d be letting me down.

Yeah, I understand that. I haven’t found an easy solution to that.

With hobbies, the thing I’ve found most useful is to set a structure of making that time for myself to do the thing I enjoy. Even if it’s just an hour or two, one evening a week. That way I’ve mentally created the space where I can say “that time is for me, to do my hobby”. Sticking with it, even if I think “I’d rather be with my favourite person at this time” helps add some balance (plus it’s a defence against that feeling of neglecting myself when I’m hyperfocused on someone else).

I do this, and can relate with how nerve-wracking it is. I’m afraid I haven’t hit on any techniques to stop it entirely, but for me I found things like mindfulness practices help with some of the runaway or obssessive thinking. Also, finding hobbies or activities I can do by myself has helped me feel less like I’m only happy when I’m with/talking to my “favourite person”.

It sounds like you’re getting a specific kind of headache, perhaps a migraine or a cluster headache, that can be debilitatingly painful. The fact that you throw up sounds a lot like it’s a migraine.

I can’t function with a migraine. I have to take pain medication, lie down in a dark room and hope I can sleep it off.