Oh I have seen those but didn’t know they were mild. Good to know thank you!

I have therapy at the ass crack of dawn tomorrow (7am) and I have nothing to say to my therapist. I have been sitting with our last session and am disappointed and frustrated. I feel unheard, I feel like she isn’t a good fit but I am supposed to switch again?

Her bio said she specializes in ADHD depression and anxiety (hello me) and she has shown bias against medication and even stated that she didn’t take the training her company offers to LCSW and therapists about medication so they can sort of have a base line of knowledge when their clients talk about meds they may be taking.

I don’t know how to approach tomorrow and it’s too late to cancel. My previous thought was to see her until I could get in with someone else but now I am not so sure if I don’t have anything I wish to talk about or share with her. I’m tired of therapy. I know I should be glad I can finally afford it and have a job where I can use my lunch for this but I’m just tired of it.

I am seeing a few negative comments on here and it’s baffling. It’s a post about learning that your issues had something to do with a mental health disorder. No where in this post did it say my coworkers should fix it. My partner and friends and family need to be involved deeply in my health care. (Though part of my journey was talking to those people and asking them to point out things about my behavior I didn’t think about or realize might be part of ADHD)

When I first learned I had ADHD I was sort of baffled and lost. I couldn’t see how it got missed and it felt like someone should have noticed but no one did and I am still in the process of unpacking years of self doubt and terrible thoughts. Part of that process is realizing why people may not have noticed, or why you might not have noticed. Hell had a friend not asked me if I had ever been tested I wouldn’t have even considered asking a professional.

This point doesn’t read as blaming the people around them so much as grief at learning late. Grief at not reaching out sooner. Maybe some grief at someone not simply saying hey you okay? But it doesn’t read to me as blaming anyone just sadness.

Ok new gamer tag name for me. Because I do love them

If nothing else it’s started some discussion and some community engagement. I left reddit in the reddit debacle and sometimes miss the engagement that was there.

Aw this is sweet. I hope he knows how you feel. And it’s so great to hear people doing things in the way that works best for them rather than how society seems it should be.

Aw man. I had no idea. Thanks man. I am going to not attempt to win one then and save it for someone else who could benefit.

Ooo getting fancy. I haven’t done vlookup in ages. I’m not even sure I could remember how.

Haha I was thinking of using this as a way to avoid a task In dreading.

Ok wait so is it one reply to this? Or multiple replies to this? For instance I want to do the unsung hero thing but what if I think of a good meme? Should that be one post or should it be separate?

Also what does that mean for this reply? Should I edit it and include my actual post or a new one?

I havent. I doubt that my particular issue is autism. I don’t meet any of the other criteria for it. But I am so glad you are at a better place and working with a great neurodivergent therapist.

God I wish. My spouse is the main bread winner but my job provides the insurance that allows us to see therapists and psychiatrists.

It’s just me and my boss so at work I am trapped with the work load I have. My spouse has been understanding and has taken anything he can when I have asked but it’s a balancing act because he has his own issues to work through.

I am working with a therapist and she wants me to prioritize so the things I don’t get to are the least important and least likely to keep bothering me while I try to rest but man it’s hard.

And I should be happy some of the time. But I feel it less frequently if at all and it’s very fleeting. If I am happy I shouldn’t be so destroyed by intrusive thoughts so easily

Oh ADHD is not my only diagnosis. I am on ssris for depression and that’s what I started on. But the depression and the ADHD are irrevocable linked and tend to fuel each other in very negative ways. And the work load never decreases. I speak about it from a burnout perspective because that is the easiest way to discuss it. No matter the ADHD or depression I have to keep working and through working I have felt like I have been in burnout for forever. But the break isn’t there. I don’t have the ability to stop and really take a break. I keep trying self care things and tips for depression and burnout and it may improve for a day but then it’s right back to where I was previously or worse shortly after.

Breaks seem to short and far too ineffective. Infact in trying to take breaks I have made it worse because they havent helped and now I’m just further behind and more overwhelmed.

I feel so utterly and hopelessly lonely. It has been building for a while and I have taken some concrete steps to keep it from getting worse and connect to people. I asked my old group of friends for a virtual hangout to just catch up and boy that backfire. I ended up in tears last night after and I feel even worse. Nothing really bad happened. It was fine, it was pleasant but it felt so utterly hollow and I felt like I didn’t belong. it felt forced and fake and now I am all up in my feels about my friendships.

I have taken steps to make new connections and it’s been hard. I used to feel like it wasn’t this hard but now I feel as if maybe I have simply been tolerated by everyone and maybe my friendships aren’t as deep and strong as I thought.

Last time I as this lonely I was also so severely depressed (there were other factors to the depression as well) that it hurt my relationship with my partner now I am also anxious that this is a sign that I am headed back to the pit.

Oh. I wish I could hug you. I feel this deeply in my soul. I also wish I had answers to make it magically better. I unfortunately don’t. I completely understand this feeling as this has been an ongoing struggle for myself as well. I hope that you know that there are resources out there. Therapy, meds, community. Maybe only one of these will help may e it will take all three. And I wish I could say that if you start one or all of these it’s gets better immediately but I have been on a journey of all three for what feels like ages now with less success than I hoped.

But you are not alone. Things can get better. And I think that it is very important to remember that it is okay to cry. It’s okay to give yourself permission to be upset, to feel frustrated and it’s okay to waste time. I know that this doesn’t necessarily help and it’s incredibly hard to find the balance between pushing yourself so you feel like your time is spent how you want it to and allowing yourself to not feel the guilt for “wasting” it.

You are not alone in your feelings and they are valid.

Congratulations! It must feel so relieving and exciting at the same time!