Also, RoundUp is so safe you can drink it!

https://youtu.be/QWM_PgnoAtA?t=26

The cognitive dissonance…

Frak Safari.

Wait, are you saying that reconciling my checking account while two unrelated trains of thought (accompanied by a random song) run through my head is not something that everyone deals with?^\s

Only a decade? Noob.

…and that’s how I became a walking encyclopedia of mostly useless facts.

Texas?

Mine then sits there with the timer at 00:01 until I press the Stop/Reset button yet again, like some sort of animal.

Anything is better than the vile brew produced by a coffee pod machine.

https://media.giphy.com/media/TeDpSbeCLAPtu/giphy.gif

Last time he left the White House they took anything that wasn’t nailed down.

Trump’s Library is vaporware. He made a lot of noise about how great it was going to be and “the best Presidential Library ever,” and grifted and conned and got donations. Still waiting for that first golden shovel to break ground.

a secret bellybutton supply

Aye, the Navel Reserve.

TY! Do want.

Doomscrolling to my birth year, and still no jet pack.

“luk, hoomans has gives us a food hatch!”

Plunging toward oblivion while happily screaming, “10,000’ so far so good, 5,000’ so far so good…”

Live, from Chicago’s famous Studebaker Theater, I’m Herringbone Winehouse sitting in for Peter Sagal on Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me. Today’s guests have all been rounded up by ICE, so Bill Kurtis and I will exchange obscure yet witty barbs while a sad trumpet plays a downtempo version of the Wait Wait theme in a minor key.

Hmm, that requires Deep Thought.

“Sometimes, a balloon knot is just a balloon knot.” Emrys Freud, Sigmund’s duller brother.

Psst, covfe.fe is available. Pass it on.

Ah yes, good old dependency.