Torn Apart By Dogs

45? fuck. no wonder i look like an old leather bag

so i can exit my conveyance with style and grace and upon returning i can haul ass out of that place

i saw this and came to do THE THING but you beat me too it. GOOD ANYA

its called anhedonia and its a symptom of many psychiatric issues. i had it for like 40 years and it got worse as my cptsd bloomed and i acquired depression that was treatment-resistant. it was severe. i had many meds and ect and ketamine. ketamine fuckin works but it takes a toll on my dissociative disorder and tbh my sense of what is real and it likely triggered the clinical paranoia. however, i now take atomoxetine and it fixes the anhedonia really well in comparison to before. now i get up and simple shit makes me feel good. not great, not ecstatic, just good. it turns out i can like everyday stuff. also, being trans with the wrong endogenous hormones also made it worse. so, to sum up, estradiol, lamictal, and atomoxetine are a magic combo for me. now its just life stress that makes me want to turn myself off. at least every single thing in my life is no longer a sisyphean grind like a real life mmo that never gives you coin or an epic.

edus and with the heavy m$ edu discounts attract and hold

i post enough of my bullshit. if you get to them before i delete they will give you an idea.

xenos, interactive fiction from like 30 years ago

no shit? hmmm

not great TBH tanks for asking. no one asks me anymore. its nice to read. even tho its not personally directed itll do.

ugh. i wont even pirate it. gross

yup!

its for when the reqs include azure ad and the whole office has a m$ fetish yet you still gotta get your bag without losing your decades-built toolset AND you have a choice at all

its funny even if its a dead horse. don’t sweat it. folks will tell on themselves given the right prompt.

this homeless trans is laughing because of all the concerns in the world you’re bent over a weak joke that contains nuance considering the character showing disgust and disdain. he’s a baddy! 🤣

i stopped reading most docs after like 95 unless they are rfc or reference and i had a memory that was stellar

now, i read all of them over and over and over because i got a tbi from electroshock “therapy” and i am working with shitty autobiographical memories and cant get to the details. so i read, keep reading, and make sure all the mans are at hand along with my references. now i get frustrated and wanna die but i still get it done but im always like yeah uh no

dang. poor guy. i cant get a job anywhere in IT and I was a greenfield and brownfield systems architect making a presidential salary. i have worked for a japanese zaibatsu, in education i was responsible for the architecture and implementation of a ~18mm public project, and “in finance” (pls kill me) and startups. i have over 3 decades of experience and ill tell you the struggle is real especially since 47 took office the first time. non-passing transsexuals are chopped off the block every time now. cant even get a job in labor because of my age coupled with the physical disability that made me leave the server rooms behind. now im a destitute homeless sex worker that cant even do that well because of my age and the hostility toward me where i live. strong young white men are now deeply affected and making the papers. vulnerable and marginalized people dont stand a fuckin chance. no one listened to the trans and look at them now.

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