I finally found a job that doesn’t make me completely miserable and pays fairly well, and it only took me until I was 34.

Wrong on both counts, friendo.

The word “panacea” is so cool.

A lovely sentiment, but unfortunately it has no basis in point of fact reality.

I’m not capable of providing value to anyone. Not my kids, not my soon-to-be ex wife, not my employer. I’m nothing but a drain on everyone in my life and when I die, I will do it penniless and alone.

Oh, go lick a boot, dweeb.

I appreciate you saying that. I kinda needed to hear it.

None of my squares have ever been that full.

This is all true, but I refuse to take off my nostalgia colored glasses.

FFIX is the best game in the franchise and I’ll die on that hill.

Obligatory HAIL SATAN