Revanced

thagomizer

this is the second word that Gary Larson has added to the English language.

yes.

I’ve been looking for an excuse to switch to pc.

right. so “trust level”.

this is also how we would divide pills & bags when i was using

I remember playing NBA something on the Dreamcast kiosk at Best Buy. I remember thinking how advanced the technology was but how goofy the controller was

kicking heroin

somebody flat out told one of my friends that he was going to be copying his answers for a math test. so for every answer, my friend added 12.3, waited until the other guy turned his test in, then went back and subtracted 12.3 from all of his answers.

yep. I used to work on a paving crew, you have to wear long pants & sleeves no matter how hot the weather because the mix is coming out of the truck at 300°F and you don’t want any molten flecks getting on your skin. 75% of the crew has partially melted boot soles, but one of their wives just showed up with a box of joe in an insulated hot bag

it’s never too hot for hot coffee

I paid for a hummingbird on craigslist. didn’t quite get what I was expecting but I walked away satisfied

don’t listen to the people telling you to put it in rice. putting it in front of a fan will have a much better drying effect. ancient people didn’t preserve stuff by putting it in rice

I just use witch hazel

somebody else’s kidney

no, but alligators and puffin.

my basic understanding is that people wrote intentionally advantageous descriptions of the animals when submitting them to the Vatican for approval or something. like they just stressed how much time the animal spends in water and not much else, and the pope wrote back saying “yeah that’s okay”

beavers and capybara are classified fish by the Catholic Church

is reusable, because it never works

every single possible source of blue light is covered. sleep meds, cannabis, Futurama audio.