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Joined 3 months ago
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Cake day: March 19th, 2025

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  • I visualized “try” as watching a young child climb something that might be out of their comfort zone, so you’re letting them, but stay ready to “catch” them if something goes wrong. I suppose “throw” would be if they soiled themselves in their fall, you can throw them back into the arms of their loving parent for cleaning.

    But fuck_around, find_out and yeet would be fantastic.



  • I want to see my planted apple tree bear fruit for the first time (it’s looking good this year so far!), and then I want to try splicing in a branch of my neighbours cherry tree, and then I want to keep building gradually to have a mutant tree with all kinds of fruit throughout the season. I’ll be the creator of my own Tree of Life.

    Small goals, small joys, small triumphs - it’s what’ll make my life grand, I believe.


  • Regardless of if you’re diagnosed or not, you can reflect around symptoms that might still fit, and how you function, and roadblocks you experience, and use tools that works for people with those same symptoms or issues even if you don’t get a full diagnosis.

    ADHD or not: you get overwhelmed with splitting attention while you’re doing one task, and ADHD or not: you prefer to not stress and do side-quests before leaving.

    I do wonder if the side-quests your wife is now on before a hike for example, is due to you having kids now and therefore must be prepared for a lot more stuff that kids tend to create -but aren’t equipped to deal with- while hiking? Have you scaled up your preparations to include your kid according to their needs and not your own (like, you’re an adult and can deal with the consequences of wet socks if you step in puddles, but kid might actually need an extra pair so they can manage the whole excursion)?

    Keep figuring yourself out, and keep brainstorming ideas for how to make life more manageable for yourself. Good luck!



  • The real horror is that the person panics when they can’t find their phone. They are just chilling at home, they know the phone is somewhere in the home, they don’t need it right now and they don’t have to leave anywhere.

    The phone will turn up. It’s just a gadget, you won’t miss it if it’s gone for an hour or so.

    (I may be jaded from misplacing stuff so frequently)


  • I know this is old, but I liked pondering the question because I made me sappy as heck, so I’ll share it with you:

    Music is like a cheat-code to life, especially my internal life. The music I listen to determines my emotions, my energy level, my focus and drive, and what activities I want to do. Without music playing I’m like an empty shell. With music I recognise my existence.

    I am not musical myself and I know nothing of production or quality, only what I enjoy and how it makes me feel. I was born to be an audience, and that’s a huge part of who I am and how I operate daily.





  • Hmm. Probably no one.

    Small amounts are weird to need “no questions asked” and large amounts are too large to give away “no questions asked”. Partly for me financially, but mostly because there is a not insignificant risk of overdose if you give out large sums of money to someone being cagey about why they need it.

    If they can’t tell me what a significant amount of money is for, it’s probably because it’s something I don’t want my money to go to, so I’m not inclined to agree under those premises.

    At the least I would need a very good reason for why I can’t ask questions (“I’m preparing to vacation as a fugitive, and don’t want you to have to testify”), but by then there is no longer no questions asked…



  • It depends on if the subject of the sentence (the person) is doing the thing (being active) or having the thing done to them (being passive). Think like this:

    A helper (help-ER) is someone who is helping/doing the help. A caller (call-ER) is calling someone else. A botherer (bother-ER) is someone who is doing the bothering.

    Someone who is recieving bother is being bothered (bother-ED), one who is getting help is being helped (help-ED), or getting calls is being called (call-ED).

    God-botherer is someone who is god-bothering (bothering god). God-bothered is someone being bothered by god.



  • We can’t fix other peoples issues for them.

    We can choose to support them if they are actively trying to fix their own issues.

    We can also decide that even though they are trying the impact is too big on us and distance ourselves.

    But if they aren’t actually trying to better themselves there is nothing we can do except protect ourselves.

    Your sister needs to look into co-dependence and trauma-bonding (if not in this case then for future reference), and focus on becoming emotionally independent rather than confusing nurturing with doormat. She can only fix her own issues, not her friends. And learn that not every friend is worth the title.