I get where you’re coming from with needing an official diagnosis for work accommodations, but none of your friends are really going to demand to see a doctor’s note, so why would personal relationships depend on an official diagnosis?

The same reasons as from a professional experience. Yes they aren’t going to pull the doctor’s note but neither is work IMHO. What it does is provide more weight behind your words of “hey I’m not just googling this shit. I’m not just an insufferable asshole looking to validate that I am. I’m actually working with a psychologist.”

Friends, just like coworkers, etc. care less of the diagnosis. They want to know you’re working on you because I’d argue writ large people want to see you succeed. A self-diagnosis can help but it doesn’t give you access to all the tools you may need to succeed so from the outside I would argue that official diagnosis matters. It means you now have someone else on your “team” be it a GP or a psychologist or whatever helping you navigate things.

I’ve had conversations with people about “how can you love the news so much? It’s so negative and depressing!”

The best I’ve explained it is first and foremost you need to understand and appreciate we are a deeply flawed creature and there’s a beauty in that. How could someone not love life for that? I am in a dingy alley having a tea right now I can smell garbage, I can hear the drone of the city around me, everything is stained. But if I look up the sky is beautiful and blue, cute girls are walking by, someone is smoking a flavoured cigar.

If you’re unwilling to appreciate it all, you will struggle on appreciating any of it. Happiness is what you make of the world around you and if you are not willing to be happy inside no external event will change that.

Self-diagnosis doesn’t help with relationships IMHO either and I mean that both from a personal and professional perspective.

Why you might ask?

YMMV but for me, I am an open book. Having the diagnosis meant I could talk to bosses when trying a new med, or explain to them when struggling. Knowing the diagnosis means you immediately diffuse an aspect of a challenge. For me, that has been immensely valuable.

Edit - wanted to add a common counterpoint is don’t let work know because you can’t predict people who will use your honesty against you. I will argue assholes are assholes and you can’t live your life at the possibility someone will be a dick. Most people are good people. Trust on that.

Devil’s advocate if you’re an adult and your QOL is fine DO NOT entertain meds without a clear understanding of what they do, what they solve and what you’re looking for.

I got diagnosed at 40. I tried meds. First biphentin then concerta. Then I dropped it. What I need meds for is to assist with was negligible in my life with the exception of emotional regulation which they were making my life substantially worse. I’m successful in a career and as a father. I fail at relationships. I made the executive decision that meds are not for me. Psychology and CBT are far more valuable.

Because writ large we are all under staffed and it we need to cut something it’s QA.

Good.

Cheap.

Fast.

Businesses have shown time and time again they choose cheap and fast. Good is a problem for the future.

MVP baby!

😏

The question back is what harm is it to you that I attribute the creation of the universe to a giant spaghetti Monster? What harm is it to you that I attribute the vast unknowns of the ocean to Cthulhu?

The flaws you mention come from organization which I am very clearly distancing from. Faith can exist without religion and organization. Religion cannot exist without faith.

The sooner we decouple these two things the quicker we can move forward as a species IMHO

There will always be that which we can’t explain. It doesn’t matter how advanced we get. We will never know what is upstream from the most recent discovery. Evidence will never exist for everything and I personally am at peace with that. The problem as I see it is you are attributing “god” to that gap when it’s far more nebulous than that.

The world needs more faith.

Upvoted just on this and you’re right. I have faith but fuck religion. Religion is man made and flawed AF. I have a deep relationship with “God” and talk to them regularly. People need to drop their inhibitions and expand their minds.

Please don’t but pay attention to your support group as you move forward. You will learn there are a lot of people that genuinely care about your child and their future. The irony of course is the vast majority of these people make little to no money and are doing what they do because they love it.

Oh yeah those parents who make it their identity are weird AF.

Both my boys stim verbally with my youngest being “worse” at is. The balance is teaching them awareness and also time and place.

From a diagnosis and classification, Autism = Asperger’s.

From a lived experience, Autism != Asperger’s.

The latter has been validated by every expert I have talked over the years from doctors to therapists to education.

The more you understand the better you can help. You’ve made the first and most important step. I’m extremely passionate about this and you will find many around you are also passionate. I’m a grown ass dude and 46 and could cry.

Talk to their teachers as they get older. The best thing you can ever do is diagnose. There are so many kids in the school system parents bury their heads and it hurts everyone.

If you ever want to talk I’m almost a decade into my autism journey. Started at 3 and my son is now 11.

As a parent of two kids on the spectrum my messaging has been just this with a resounding “there are legions of autistic people that are NOT represented. Ever.”

Every representation of autistic people you see in the media, or chatting with online are the exception and the fact that they collectively shit on the fact that there are many isolated and struggling is goddamn frustrating.

If you’re autistic and on Lemmy I’m proud of you. My youngest son can’t manage his own diabetes, can’t wipe his ass, needs help showering, has worsening anxiety and ADHD. I could go on.

As a parent I’m supposed to defer to that representation in the media or on Lemmy because “they’re autistic bro.” disgusts me.

My final takeaway. Fuck the DSM V for making Asperger’s the same as Autism. It isn’t. It hurts both parties but I’d argue it hurts Autistic people far more than Asperger’s people.

As a parent of 2 children on the spectrum I need to give you a well thought out “fuck you” in response.

My experience online is a lot of you “champions” for autism are only speaking for yourselves and those like you, which is to say the ones that have some means of independence be it verbally, physically or emotionally. I have one son like that. He’s Asperger’s. He will have challenges, but he will live a long and productive life with all the proper tools. My other son is your “traditional” autistic. He is thankfully verbal but at this point there is no plan for him to be independent ever. As parents we hope for the best and take every day at a time.

To assume that our opinions and decisions are derived as “making about ourselves” is part of the problem. Everything I have done since his birth has been to NOT make it about myself.

The last thing I need is people like you punching down because you can’t look past your own goddamn nose.

Delicious irony

That’s why when you bought you always rolled one with the dealer and smoked together

RIP eyedea

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