so I decided to no longer speak to my ex because we were actually very close still even after breaking up but he was giving me less attention and wasn’t there anymore. Wouldn’t properly listen to me and stuff and it made me feel belittled. We stopped talking 5 days ago but it ended kind of petty way so I messaged him a long message yesterday being thankful and stating why and when I got hurt and that I am proud of him for other things. He did the same. He did mention that he’s more appreciative of me after not talking for a bit and he see’s how much I care and he’s embarrassed by the way he had acted and all of those things. He regrets not calling me his “girlfriend” and all of that. But now we are done since we haven’t texted since the closure. He knows how much I tried to make things work and he said he felt like an idiot for not seeing that blah blah.
I am getting over it but I think what hurts most about this closure is that he states all of these things but then again if he wanted to make things work or regrets anything in any way, why not try? Or try before? U know? He holds such a big amount on my heart and it breaks me so much to see all my effort gone to waste and someone never fighting for me. I just want someone to fight for me and want me regardless. If you want something, you do everything you can to take it. He just wasn’t emotionally mature and it sucks.
Sadly in most cases your only options would be between numbing yourself out and going insane.
You can try to find another one like him ASAP, but that’s just one way to numb yourself out.
If I were you, I’d choose to numb myself out in the least toxic and destructive manner. You still have your future to think about after all.
So, if I were to do drugs, it wouldn’t be the ones that might result in me killing somebody or cause permanent bodily damage one way or another.
Then at some point, you’ll be able to look back and say that it’s all just a childish affair.
How does going insane look like? What do I do? I feel both right now and it hurts. It’s hurting more after the closure too
Keep in mind that I’m just an internet stranger to you. You’d probably want to talk to your IRL folks as well.
With the closure, at least you know there’s no going back. So you can only move forward from here.
Going insane looks different for everyone. I can’t tell you what it looks like probably because I wasn’t looking at myself back then.
I guess setting up a good environment for you to recover in would be the best you can do. This means surrounding yourself with the good people (i.e. try not to push them away), and staying away from the bad ones. Your conscience (not your emotions) could be of help here.
Having some activities would go a long way as you’d be thinking what’s in front of you instead of pondering all the what-ifs.
I wish you all the best!
Trust me, the internet strangers have helped me so much in life compared to therapy and my own friends. I rlly only hang out with one girl but to be honest, I don’t feel like she’d actually there when I talk about things. I notice it’s always her agreeing to what I say but never solid truthful advice. If I said one thing she agrees, if I switch up, she agrees. It’s just not even worth talking about anymore. That’s why I come here, I’m able to speak my mind and all my thoughts with absolutely no shame and I get solid advice from so many perspectives and I love it.
I got a meet-up app that has many community events and activities/hobbies for people who wanna join but I’m a bit nervous to start conversations with people, I’m not the best at it. But I do wish I was more of a people’s person so I can attend these and have stuff to look forward to.
Community events where you get to talk to people would be the way to go! I haven’t really gotten the chance these days now that I’ve settled down, but I used to.
You can start simple and surface-level, without going into much about yourself. If some of these people think you’re weird, then well, that’s too bad, perhaps it’s just not meant to be and it’s time to move along. Tho you can’t be anonymous like in here, chances are, you won’t meet these people if you stop going, so it’s a bit like this place.
Speaking of, your instance (lemm.ee) is shutting down, not sure if you’re aware of it. Might wanna make a new account on another server (assuming you wanna remain on Lemmy).
I know. I don’t numb out toxic wise, it’s more so I begin to feel less for people who try to act all “cutesy” with me. I’ve had guys try to pretend they’re sweeet and say things like “I’ll treat u better” but oh those are the ones who end up being the worst lol. I know I don’t deserve anything less ever so I hope to find someone who will give me the world and more. But I’m scared I won’t feel anything for them. I knew someone awhile back and he was very sweet and treated me very kind, kissed my head, my hand, always opened the door for me, dinner dates, etc. but I wasn’t physically attracted to him as much and things just ended. I have been craving physical intimacy as well but I just don’t want to seek that from someone random but it’s so hard to.