With a couple of small changes, Send the Marines can be updated for 2025 standards.

What with President TACO practicing escalato on the Los Angeles
And then the ICE-est Crisis on top of that
It has been a nervous year
And people have begun to feel like a Christian Scientist with appendicitis

Fortunately, in times of crisis like this
America always has its number one instrument of diplomacy to fall back on
Here’s a song about it

When someone makes a move
Of which we don’t approve
Who is it that always intervenes?
U.N. and O.A.S
They have their place, I guess
But first - send the Marines

We’ll send them all we’ve got
John Wayne and Randolph Scott
Remember those exciting fighting scenes?
To the shores of Tripoli
But not to Mississippoli
What do we do? We send the Marines!

For might makes right
And till they’ve seen the light
They’ve got to be protected
All their rights respected
So somebody we dislike can stay elected

Members of the corps
All hate the thought of war
They’d rather kill them off by peaceful means
Stop calling it aggression

Ooh, we hate that expression!
We only want the world to know
That we support the status quo
They love us everywhere we go
So when in doubt
Send the Marines!