So, forest spirit seeks tribute and those paying tribute review it on their own, sure. Someone eventually brings this up while paying tribute, alright, I’m still with you. But “the spirit of the deep woods has a smart phone with a data plan and the means to keep it charged” is where I start to get real worried.
I HAVE A DUTY FOR YOU. AN UNDERTAKING OF VITAL IMPORTANCE. WITH ONE OF MY MOST TREASURED ARTIFACTS IN YOUR CARE. YOU WILL PLEASE ME WITH THE OUTCOME, OR I WILL FEAST UPON YOUR SOUL LIKE CROWS UPON A CARCASS.
“A-anything for you, o mighty Forest Lord!”
[drops a smartphone into the terrified cultist’s hands] CHARGE THIS. AND WIPE THE SCREEN DOWN WHILE YOU’RE AT IT.
“…I’m sorry, could you repeat that? The forest God wants to patch THEIR cell tower into our network? They have a cell tower?.. I guess patch them in…”
I’m sorry, 3000 reviews with a 5-star average just isn’t as convincing as 1000 reviews with a 4.6-star average. Brakktor the Unforgiving just seems like a better fit
Now I am scared.
oh no the ancient sacred forest has been corrupted. By capitalism
“I’m escaping to the one place that has not been corrupted by capitalism…”
This man gave us so much in exchange for a steady, lifetime diet of scenery-chewing.
Definitely will pull out a square and ask for a tip after the interaction.
Reminds me of a game called Dap. You basically talk to this guy and he does… helpful? Things
