I know I keep posting over and over but I’m in so much pain and I have no one or nowhere to go to when I am sad. I’m trying to channel everything internally without being such a burden and annoyance to people. I keep asking myself “why didn’t he fight for me and his relationship?” “Why am I so easy to be given up on?” “Was I even special to him?” … I cannot stop crying. I feel hopeless right now. When we stopped talking for a couple days and I reached out for closure, he said not speaking for those three days makes him realize he should’ve been more appreciative of me and how hard I tried and all those things. But if he was saying those things then why not turn it around? 😔I sound like a hopeless romantic but I can’t wrap my head around anything anymore… the closure somehow made it worse I guess. I told him I forgive him for anything he thinks he did wrong. He appreciated that. I miss him so much. I miss our memories, I miss his face. Something deep down inside of me feels like I’m going to see his face again but I know that’s false reality. We never even got to talk to each other about these things in person. I just want to cry in his arms.
Apologies for the direct question, but how old are you?
In a couple months you’ll find someone or something new and exciting, and laugh at how this felt like the end of the world. Just make sure you don’t wallow in a pit of depression. Go out into the world. Do your hobbies. Find new hobbies.
Also, consider using more line breaks for readability.
hey, im 21 turning 22 in august…. and i know…i ramble too much lol
I am nearly twice your age. Pretty much everybody has been through a version of what you are experiencing. Two things you must know.
1: You had a relationship that was valuable enough to you that losing it hurt. That is special in itself, and you need to consider the good thing that you had. Seeing a concert is ephemeral, but you remember the music and performance positively. Think of the relationship this way, also.
2: Give yourself time to mourn. Mourning is natural, and it is a process, but there is an endpoint. Many have walked this path and come out on the other end.
You are young, and you will have many more experiences in your life. Some positive, some negative. But your life is far from over.
Take a day, go for a long walk at the beach or park or nature trail. Cry, weep, wail, knash your teeth. Then move on.
You have a lot of life ahead of you. The feelings will fade. Don’t wallow. You’ll be fine.
When I was a youth I had a lot of big feelings about relationships and crushes and friends. The feelings were real. They certainly took up a lot of space in my head, but they weren’t really proportionate to what was happening. Everything felt big because it was new to me. I barely talk to anyone from that time in my life anymore. I live in a new city with new friends.
You’ll be fine.