• buddascrayon@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Yeah it’ll be like the machine that you find in museums where you put in a quarter and get an injection molded toy hot out of the mold. You just hook your arm up to an IV and it starts extracting your blood and then when it gets enough of the plastic it melts it and pushes it into the mold and spits out a little toy dinosaur.

    • ultrafastsloth@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      …and you will be so happy for a few moments before you realize the machine never returned you back all your blood. You realize the machine never intended to give it back as you slowly fade into eternal slumber.

      • Zink@programming.dev
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        2 days ago

        Sound like a futuristic black-mirror-esque solution to blood donation motivation.

        At Blood-B-Kleen, our machine will quickly and safely pull 8 pints of raw dirty blood from your vein and will return 7 pints of your cleaned blood with 99% reduction in plastics and PFAS, plus some hydrating fluids and vitamins. We don’t even charge you for it yet!