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The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldM to memes@lemmy.world · 2 days ago

Another productive meeting

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Another productive meeting

lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldM to memes@lemmy.world · 2 days ago
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  • Drunk & Root@sh.itjust.works
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    17 hours ago

    all fun and games until thr back of the monitor falls off

  • Gates9@sh.itjust.works
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    18 hours ago

  • sprite0@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    the startup i worked for got bought by a mega corp. They taught us devs how to use some intranet forms to order things we needed like keyboards and mice. These items would get approved or rejected by the engineering manager and it was pretty straightforward.

    I put a request into the system for one of these (well one very similar, the Scorpion) thinking my boss would see the $50k request and jokingly refuse it.

    What i did not know was that any request over a certain dollar amount triggered a review, by sending the request to my bosses boss. And over ANOTHER amount it did it again. I got a talking to but it was worth it to imagine the face on some VP seeing a dev try to order a $50k chair

    • TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      I bet they were laughing too before pretending to be mad

      • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        yeah, i bet they were trying to think of ways to reject it for op but approve it for themselves

  • Gates9@sh.itjust.works
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    18 hours ago

    deleted by creator

  • Gates9@sh.itjust.works
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    18 hours ago

    deleted by creator

  • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Pro tip: Add a background image to your video conference for privacy.

    Most unsettling part here is toilet paper positioning (if not cat owner).

    • HappySkullsplitter@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      The toilet paper is loaded backwards

      • marduk@lemmy.sdf.org
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        2 days ago

        Every time my ex would reload, she loaded it this way. Every time I found it this way, I would reverse it

        • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

        • Hawke@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          I’m pretty sure this was a contributing factor in my parents divorce.

      • GFGJewbacca@midwest.social
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        2 days ago

        Excuse me, that’s the best way to load toilet paper. The best overall, however, is a bidet. Ascend, my child.

        • Cheradenine@sh.itjust.works
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          2 days ago

          Is there a way on Lemmy to downvote and upvote at the same time?

          The first part of your statement says you should up your meds, the second part is lucid though.

          • Bgugi@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            Lemmy needs to distinguish itself with character-level voting. Somebody made a great post but unironically used an interrobang? Hit 'em right in the analytics.

            • Seeker of Carcosa@feddit.uk
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              19 hours ago

              “Exquisite use of an interrobang, good sir. I doff my fedora to thee.”

            • Denjin@lemmings.world
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              2 days ago

              What did you just say about the interrobang‽

              • LilB0kChoy@midwest.social
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                1 day ago

                What’s an interrobang‽

    • just some guy@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      As a cat owner, you’ll never catch my rolls in this blasphemous position. Kitty’s getting misted if he confuses hanging TP as a toy

    • nexguy@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      So it would look like you are chest deep in a toilet. It’s the way I prefer it anyway.

      • RobotZap10000@feddit.nl
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        2 days ago

        How do you poop? A chart showing exciting new pooping postures that break the current boundaries of the pooping experience.

        • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          none of these there’s not enough crying

        • MotoAsh@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          ahaha I love how the only one getting shit everywhere is literally Drumpf. Accurate.

    • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 days ago

      Cat owner… my stupid bois have found a way to empty the roll even when it’s placed like that. Nothing is safe.

    • Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org
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      2 days ago

      if not cat owner

      Bend the cardboard roll on the inside so it becomes oval-shaped. That way it doesn’t keep unrolling if they pull on it

    • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      That would not stop a cat

    • rovingnothing29@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      The toilet paper is correctly installed

  • jaschen306@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    thud oh sorry, brb… my mouse just slid off my table.

    • TheOakTree@lemm.ee
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      1 day ago

      You would probably want a wired mouse for this one… maybe it could work like a bungee?

      • nelly_man@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Or a trackball mouse that’s secured in place.

      • jaschen306@sh.itjust.works
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        1 day ago

        I think someone should invent a magnetic mouse

  • gaterush@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    A bonus is you can invite your dental hygienist over and have your teeth cleaned while you work

  • mvirts@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    chokes to death on coffee

    • RedPostItNote@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Dies by monitor to face

      • Denjin@lemmings.world
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        2 days ago

        At least he died doing what he loved. Being in a Teams call about interdepartmental efficiencies.

  • FundMECFS@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 days ago

    I don’t think people realise that these setups (less exaggerated) are usually for disabled or chronically ill people unable to sit up.

    • Korhaka@sopuli.xyz
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      2 days ago

      So me on a Wednesday morning after a questionable amount of moonshine the night before?

      • FundMECFS@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        2 days ago

        For some chronic illnesses. Yeah. But imagine that for life. And that’s the best you feel. It can get worse. Sometimes for long periods, you don’t know if you will get back even to the that “shitty best you feel”. And even at your best, you barely feel a fraction as good as a healthy person.

        You don’t get to feel okay your birthday, or on christmas, or when you need to do something special. You just feel ill, like a bad hangover or bad flu, in perpetuity.

        That’s the reality for a lot of severe chronic illnesses.

        • SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          1 day ago

          That’s me today! I’m playing my favorite game: chronic illness or acute illness?

  • Etterra@discuss.online
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    1 day ago

    Good luck getting up to pee.

    • shoo@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Plenty of places to hang a catheter

      • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        they make these things called condom catheters

  • CtrlAltDefeat@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    Can get a dental cleaning during meetings, awesome

    • SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      1 day ago

      Put a big hole in that incline and your proctologist can do their thing too!

    • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Combining “company quarterly review” with “dental cleaning”, while time efficient, is a kind of sensory combo that’s right up there with “nuts and gum”. Sounds great until you think it through a bit.

      Edit: I’ve actually done the latter by accident. 1/10 - “I don’t know what I expected.”

      • Skullgrid@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        “nuts and gum”

        together at last!

  • mydoomlessaccount@infosec.pub
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    1 day ago

    But the desk blocks me from accessing my penis???

    • Etterra@discuss.online
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      1 day ago

      There’s a peripheral for that.

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      This is a poorly designed masturbatorium

      • yesoutwater@lemm.ee
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        1 day ago

        Nap?! This is not the place for a nap

    • musubibreakfast@lemm.ee
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      You can’t see it so you probably wouldn’t be aware of its existence

  • OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca
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    1 day ago

    For when you really need to post on Lemmy from the dentist’s chair.

  • MissJinx@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    this does no look confortable

    • Dabundis@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      If you use both hands to type the mouse would either fall off or be damgling from its cord

      • marduk@lemmy.sdf.org
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        2 days ago

        I think it’s a trackball stuck in place but I could be wrong

        • ahornsirup@feddit.org
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          2 days ago

          Congratulations, you made it worse.

        • MissJinx@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          Indeed even worse

      • hddsx@lemmy.ca
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        2 days ago

        Use a trackball and tape the base to the desk?

        • Skua@kbin.earth
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          2 days ago

          Tiny jet engine that thrusts uphill to counteract gravity whenever your hand isn’t on the mouse

          • Farid@startrek.website
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            2 days ago

            Electromagnets engage when you release the mouse.

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