So the tailor doesn’t touch your penis when they’re measuring you

  • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    The average penis according to multiple studies is between 5.1" and 5.2" long erect. The average penis also grows up to five times in size when erect. I don’t think the problem posed in this article is something the average man needs to worry about.

    • ChexMax@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      This took me a second to understand (it’s 4AM) and for a second I was like wait, this cannot be correct. No one is walking around with a 25 inch penis. Then I got it

        • iknowitwheniseeit@lemmynsfw.com
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          2 days ago

          I don’t think so. Even with just 7 inches or so you’re starting to have to be careful with angles to avoid hurting your partner.

            • Grass@sh.itjust.works
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              19 hours ago

              it doesn’t even take that much. I sit forward enough to not be shitting on the seat, but still get front contact if I don’t push it up or down depending if I need to piss or not. and that’s the low end of the average. ban all small toilets!

              • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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                18 hours ago

                I’d heard people talking about this before and I was like “WTF? How big are these guys?”. But I had only ever had those really deep, oblong toilets. We moved into a house with standard toilets a few months ago and I was like “ooooh. Yeah, this sucks!”.

    • Victor@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      So the average penis is about 1" flaccid?! That’s gotta be a global average. Not in my parts, I’ll tell you that. Not in the local gym showers at least (my only source of data).

        • bitwaba@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          Well that’s an easy enough equation to solve. Girth stays the same, length goes 1/5th.

          Beer Can Jim is just Tuna Can Jim if he’s not in the mood.

      • DudeDudenson@lemmings.world
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        2 days ago

        Some people are showers some people are growers, plus it’d be totally different if it was freezing cold in your gyms changing room

        • Victor@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          Right, but average though? I find that absolutely incredible. It’s not like it’s freezing cold when people measure their penises either… Or is that part of the statistics, to make men feel better about themselves?

          I absolutely cannot believe the average flaccid-penis size is one goddamn inch, unless you maybe mix billions of Asians in the mix (no hate). Not from my own experiences. Regional average has to be higher in Western/Northern Europe. No way does anyone of the penises I’ve seen shrink below 1 inch. 😆

          • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            Like the other person said, 5x growth is overall, meaning length and girth. Some people grow more than others. The guys walking around without clothes at the gym are typically the more confident guys, meaning the guys who are more endowed. As someone who played sports for half his life, and was in the Army, I’ve seen a lot of dongs, and they’re all over the place. They seem to vary from 1/2" to the biggest I’ve ever seen which was an enormous 11" monster. The average flaccid just based on personal observation is 2-3 inches, so still not really something you need to worry about when getting your pants tailored. But if you’re a guy, then you know that your flaccid size varies greatly depending on a number of factors.

            • Victor@lemmy.world
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              2 days ago

              5x growth is overall, meaning length and girth.

              Oh my god, of course. 😆 I’m so dumb. Right, that makes perfect sense then. God. Dad brain was kicking in hard, earlier. Thank you for that!

            • Victor@lemmy.world
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              2 days ago

              the biggest I’ve ever seen which was an enormous 11" monster

              Just out of curiosity, how do you know it was 11"? 😅

                • Victor@lemmy.world
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                  1 day ago

                  Jesus. What kind of person tells you the length of their dick, first of all, and second of all pulls it out to show you.

  • jimp@lemm.ee
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    2 days ago

    It’s not supposed to just sit there like an acorn attached to the bottom of my torso?

  • OccamsRazer@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Interesting idea, because my boxer briefs support my balls in the middle, but my dress pants have one seam down the middle, so when I sit for prolonged periods I get a seam uncomfortably squishing my equipment. If instead the seam was always resting to one side or the other, I wouldn’t have that problem. To fix this, we should either have underwear that better accommodates a middle seam, or my preference would be pants with a built in pouch similar to underwear. It would accentuate the “bulge”, but we could get used to that.

    • Obi@sopuli.xyz
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      2 days ago

      I’m more curious which leg he puts it down in, in a fucking kilt.

    • salvaria@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
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      3 days ago

      You know, I recognized that too, but what I really needed was for someone to tell me what “how do you dress” meant ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  • Taniwha420@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    No, they’re not worried about joggling your junk. It’s because you need something like an extra half inch in the seam on the side you dress on to leave a little extra room in your pants for your dick. Well-tailored pants are asymetrical. Not sure those of you who wear briefs need to worry about it.

    • TammyTobacco@lemmy.ml
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      2 days ago

      This is the right answer. It’s so if you’re wearing tightly tailored pants you have some dick space so you’re not imprinting and showing it off to everyone.

    • RaoulDook@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      This seems like a good place for a joke about hanging dong. Podcasts about how the distinguished gentleman may properly hang dong in tailored slacks, let’s go with that

    • salvaria@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
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      3 days ago

      I don’t have the equipment to know if this is true or not, but it seems smart to ask the person you’re fitting so that you don’t accidentally grope them

      • Taniwha420@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        I think you’re telling me you’re a woman. I want to point out that seeing a tailor is a non-sexual experience. I’m not sure I’ve ever been to one, not even a female tailor, who HASN’T made incidental contact with my genitals when checking fit, particularly in-seam. It’s a far cry from being “groped”. It’s a bit like imagining a lingerie specialist worries about touching someone’s boobs, or that a doctor gets worried about seeing someone naked.

      • NotMaster@lemmynsfw.com
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        3 days ago

        Its true. This is a common tailoring question for men. Nothing to do with being fondled and everything to do with the pants fit. If you are getting measured like this for expensive pants your going to get nudged a bit anyways when they do the inseam measure.

  • wildbus8979@sh.itjust.works
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    3 days ago

    Let me translate this old joke from Coluche

    It’s the story of a guy who is constantly living with migraines. He goes to the doctor for the tenth time and says “doctor I can’t take it anymore, these migraines are ruining my life!”, so the doctor prescribes him some medication and says “listen, these are the last resorts… If they don’t work, there’s really only one thing we can do, and it’s to chop off your dick!”, “chop off my dick?? I sure do hope these meds work!!”. The guy returns home and starts taking the meds. But months past and the migraines persist. He can’t take it anymore, so he goes back to the doctor and says “doctor, I’ve had it, I have no life, it will be better to live without a dick than not to live at all”, “very well, let’s get it done!”. And so the doctor chops off his dick! Months past and the guy’s migraines are completely gone. He’s so happy, he finally can live a somewhat normal life. After months of success, he tells himself “I think I should celebrate! Let get ourselves a nice suit!”. So he goes to the tailor, and the tailor asks him “sir, tell me, which way do you hang?”, obviously the guy replies “oh you know, it is of no importance what so ever…”, the tailor exclaims loudly “are you mad? It is of the upmost importance sir! If it hangs on the wrong side of the pants, you’ll end up getting constant migraines!!”

  • PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee
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    3 days ago

    Why in god’s name would you choose to put it down a leg‽ That shit will give you the worst rug burn imagineable if you happen to take your pants off too fast or fall in a split or just sit down on your pants in a weird way where they pull against you if you try to shift in the wrong way.