That’s a similar experience to how I met my partner. We never really talked about it, she was just there now.
I dont really like that I really wish it was me, damn I really need to meet people
go out and try. just earlier today I said the stupidest oneliner in person and got a response.
you miss a 100% of the shots you don’t take - Wayne Gretzky or somebody
then I spoke to someone on a busy commuter train, and learned something new. a view I had never considered before.
I know it’s hard,as someone who has personally suffered from exclusion and depression before.
but worst they can do is ignore you or spit in your face.
That’s all very true but I do like a girl right now, she lives on another continent though
??? Never left??? Please go on
Yeah thats an autistic goth woman. They’re magnificent
This is my dating strategy, just exist and hope one day some alt girl just decides were dating now.
As much as I don’t want to go back into the office I must admit I never meet people anymore. I don’t know how I would meet anyone new if I ever needed to.
My partner is literally the girl that I sat next to in the office seating plan 10 years ago.
Yes, I am indeed this introverted
This is my dream girl.
Of course I’m not a Chad with a huge melon.
Damn 5heads, taking up all the possible fae.
Definitely Fae if she lives on black licorice, that thing is absolutely not meant for humans
Shit, in the netherlands we basically live off of that stuff. The per capita consumption is two kilograms, which puts ut at the tol of the list of global consumption.
Every supermarket pretty much has an aisle dedicated to licorice in all forms. Sweet, salty, spicy, soft, hard, dipped in chocolate… you name it.
I’m amazed some people don’t like it. Though I’ll concede I’ve obviously grown up eating it since before I could talk.
Licorice is wonderful. When I was a little kid, half the reason Halloween was my favorite holiday was because there were packs of only orange and black jellybeans, the only good flavors.
Panda licorice now, it’s amazing. At our airport there is an all licorice vending machine, all different kinds but of course since it’s in an airport it’s expensive.
I know there’s like a billion jellybean flavors but if the orange one you speak of is also orange fruit flavor, it ranks low on my list. Unlike licorice though, it’s edible.
- Adds RBWellls to the Lemmy Fae user list *
Salmiak is life.
Avoids sunlight, literal-minded, and hisses at strange women?
I’m not trying to be mean, but she’s probably on the autism spectrum. My girlfriend has it and this is her to a T.
There’s nothing saying being Fae and autistic are mutually exclusive conditions
Black licorice is S tier, especially the good and plenty variety
S tier
Only of it’s salmiakki
I’m all about the Australian sort kind myself
Sure… I’m proud of my comment, I’m now making a list of all the Fae users of Lemmy. You guys can’t trick me now!
may I have the name of your list (so I can remember it of course)?
Good & Plenty is fine but too sweet. Salmiakki is god tier!
I’ll have to give it a try sometime
Dutch double salted liquorice. Delightful.
Gimme dem DZ Drops
I love black licorice 🖤
I’m not entirely sure what Fae is (I’m guessing a fairy?) but I’m from a magical land called New Jersey so I’m pretty sure I’m human
Fae depending on which lore you refer to (usually) means like an umbrella term that includes fairies and any other being that is magical and aligned with nature (but not a beast; dragons aren’t Fae for example)
Fae are like, earth spirits. Not exactly malevolent, but tricksterish, deceptive and vengeful. Not to be trusted. Never eat their food or play their games. Don’t fuck with their animals or their homes or they’ll gaslight you to death
Jersey is best state. Can’t stand black licorice, but my mom and much of our family love it, so I’ll accept it. But Jersey is best state, it bears repeating.
I should visit new Jersey one day, see what all the hype is about
Yes! Every time I see someone making NJ the butt of a joke, I feel the need to reply with a love letter to New Jersey, because it’s legit awesome and I love it 🤍
I had a history teacher in highschool who refused to acknowledge the existance of new jersey. He was from New York though so maybe that had something to do with it
Yep, it’s a great highway
I just woke up and haven’t had any caffeine yet so you’re getting more or less a copy/paste of a comment I’ve written previously. Enjoy!
They don’t call us the Garden State for nothing. Northwest New Jersey is beautiful, very rural with loads of outdoors activities along the Delaware. Central Jersey has Princeton, which along with the gorgeous campus has a super beautiful downtown. There are farmstands with fresh Jersey tomatoes, corn, and peaches all over the place, and we have a bunch of nice wineries! We also have the Pine Barrens (home of the Jersey Devil!) which are beautiful. And despite that stupid MTV show*, the shore is not just loads of drunken assholes. It has tons of boardwalk stuff to do, and the beaches with tags are usually pretty nice. Plus we have Atlantic City!
*(Side note: the cast of Jersey Shore are fucking bennies from New York, they’re not even from NJ.)
When people shit on New Jersey, they’re thinking of Camden (Philly’s fault) or Newark (NYC’s fault). There are definitely ugly industrial areas of NJ, but that’s not the entirety of the state. Neither is the parkway.
Come visit. Have a pork roll, egg, and cheese on a bagel. Bike down the boardwalk. Spend a day at Great Adventure. Check out Lambertville (and New Hope!). Go tubing down the Delaware. And then when you hear someone bash NJ in the future, you’ll be able to defend us ;)
NJ is fun to tease.
- its shape seems perfect for the highway
- its an ugly part of nyc
- an ugly part of Philadelphia
- and Atlantic City went way downhill (admittedly haven’t been there since Trump was bankrupting casinos)
But actually yes. One of my buddies from college was from a very nice part of NJ, exactly like you describe. Well worth visiting and really shows off what a great place NJ can be
It’s the armpit of America. You can tell you crossed the state line because of the smell. The rest of the state gets… better, but that’s a low bar.
(I grew up in New York and honestly I’d even take Jersey over where I live now.)
Either that or Danish. They love that stuff over there for some reason
Norwegian here. The Danes licquorice consumption does not impress.
The Finns, however… Scary people.
All the Finns I know are delightfully weird.
I am a Finn. How I can tell if I am delightfully or some other way weird?
Don’t forget the Dutch. 😉
Ladkris mmmm
I have zero game and no clue when it comes to signals.
I need this kind of woman, one that will be forward me.
“Game” doesn’t exist. Clean yourself, be respectful of others, talk to people. That’s the entire game.
You just lost the game btw, but that’s to another pointFUCK
Game exists, its a skill though and you can learn it by trying. Just requires the courage to try, fail, and try again. That said its really just charisma, and you can learn it by learning to non-flirtatiously chat people up.
You just lost the game btw, but that’s to another point
Fucker
The game ended years ago: https://xkcd.com/391/
You won. Congratulations.
There really is an xkcd for everything.
Oh fuck you too. I didn’t finish reading the comment and wouldn’t have lost if it wasn’t for your comment
I read recently of a variation of this. You play the game by intending to play it; you win when you forget you’re playing the game.
Thus, when you remember the game exists, you realize that you won!
My ‘game’ issue is I kind of break down when I speak to a girl I am interested in.
I get so nervous and overthink that I stop functioning. I run out of things to say and the conversation just doesn’t flow. I put way too much pressure on myself and it is extremely difficult to break out of it.
But if I speak to girls I am not interested in, then I am more myself. No pressure, not trying hard.
My friend was like that. He had a lot of friends who were girls, and the way that he handled that was by putting us all in the “friend” box (he was bi, so he did the same for guys, but given that most guys are straight, that wasn’t as necessary). It was a great method until he ended up hooking up with his best friend — it was a surprise to no-one but him. He walked around looking shellshocked for a week.
This is the best strat. Forget the sex/relationship, be friends. Everyone has an easier time being themselves when making friends. Being yourself is authentic and generally attractive, that’s why your friends stick around. Then if you still think they’re cool, be flirty friends, transition quick though, so you don’t give the impression you’re not interested. Then if that works out you’re already 80% of the way there, you’re socializing and flirting and not being awkward.
If you don’t have friends, make friends first. Even if you somehow manage to find a partner when you have no friends, you’ll destroy the relationship because you’ll expect the partner to provide 100% of your socializing and interpersonal needs, which isn’t really plausible.
Stop talking to women as if you’re trying to get into their underwear. Speak to them like someone you want to be friends with and if there’s interest both ways something might happen and it might not happen and that’s OK because you made a friend.
I never said I was trying to get into their underwear or pick them up or take them home.
It is not my goal, it is not my aim. I have never had a one night stand.
It’s usually girls I know through other people, friends of friends that I have been around and developed some interest in. I often feel that I only have a small window or a single chance to make a good impression otherwise someone else may catch their attention.
I was young, I was stupid and placed so much pressure on myself and end never ended well.
I’m a lot more calm and comfortable now, but I don’t head to pubs or bars to meet people. Not my thing.
Any interest I have now is the time I spend chatting to a match on a dating app and then meeting up in person.
I really like meeting that person where the conversation just flows naturally, you look at the time and it’s been hours since you first met and didn’t even notice it.
Dude has anxiety and you’re talking to him like he’s purposefully being a jerk. Not cool.
No I’m not, I’m talking to them like they’re so anxious because they’re trying to get laid rather than trying to get to know someone.
As a former young man I have also been exactly where the commenter has been and when I stopped looking at women as something to conquer rather than a human being, things started happening for me.
So you’re making an assumption about him AND ignoring the anxiety issue. That’s totally cool, then. Everyone is just like you, ya know. Everyone.
But what if I am just trying to get in their underwear???
Hormone driven anxiety. You don’t actually like those women. You haven’t spoken to them so you don’t know if you like them. You horny them.
Jerk off before you leave the house. It’ll help.
This reminds me of this scene from Tommy Boy
tl;dw - Tommy Boy is trying to sell auto parts to save his family’s business. He gets all stressed out in sales meetings but is able to talk a surly waitress into getting him some chicken wings because the chicken wings don’t matter.
So the next time you’re talking to a cute lady just remember: Chicken wings.
Most people wait to speak. A good listener is someone that asks the right question and therefore is assumed to be tuned into the conversation. Ask the right questions, get them talking and you become both a good listener and the strong silent type. There’s no reason or reward for you driving the conversation.
This is what I do. I did it with my wife. I asked some questions and then just listened. She basically told me her entire life story. I interjected with supportive comments from time to time, and listened. Then we got married
Unfortunately this sounds like I was trying to manipulate my wife or whatever. Nothing could be further from the truth. I admire her tremendously and she has helped me a great deal. She’s amazing. It’s worth listening to people, that’s all I was trying to say
How can you know you’re not interested without having a conversation? Try shifting your focus to having a pleasant conversation, even if that leads to nothing. Not that that is easy all the time but if you’re chatting on a dating app or something it should be doable since it’s not exactly real time. If it’s in real life just own up to it by saying you’re nervous.
I get so nervous and overthink that I stop functioning
Otherwise known as being a human. Some people more socially anxious than others, but having social interactions helps a lot. Just don’t try to have social interactions for a goal, so to speak. Talk to people about stuff you all interested in, and you will be surprised how quickly the awkwardness melts.
So, I can’t really explain how to do this, but for me the way I overcame that was talking myself into not being interested in them first so I could manage a conversation and get to know them more and from there whatever happens, happens. Obviously you don’t do this long term because you end up with that friendzone/girlfriendzone situation that makes people feel used but if you’re just getting to know someone initially I think it’s fine. It’s also allowed me to filter some out when I learned more about their personality and realized I didn’t like them as much as I thought I did or they made it clear they weren’t into me like that.
Yes there is. I knew a guy who was mostly an asshole, didn’t look after himself, but could always pull hotties. Relationships didn’t last though, so there’s some balance in the world.
The way I see it some people are the type to fall in love head over heels and it gives them the gutso to tell the loved ones how they feel , which can work by the way (everybody enjoys feeling that kind of love). The drawback is often that the type of people that burn that bright runs out of fuel quite soon.
I’m not saying one is better than the other just different strokes for different folks.
Oh believe me, there was no love involved in his one night stands. Which is fine, I’m sure both parties just wanted some fun. I was just amazed at how natural at charming girls he was, despite his idiosyncrasies.
Bruh I literally haven’t lost the game in years.
Exactly. Mine is basically like this, I was very lucky that we found each other. Most things are literal between us. Faes exist, you’ll find yours
Same energy as an unhoused cat choosing its new home.
Direct and to the point. Not many can boast to be this good at communication.
Congrats bro… happy for you…
what are those three things behind the dude? windows? hanging picture frames? I don’t understand what the two angled lines are on the tops of them if they are either of those things.
They look like japanese funeral portraits
Can we collectively applaud this? Because I think it deserves it.
This is my partner, minus the goth (her thing was hip-hop).
I wonder just how many times people on the spectrum were looked at as “Fae”.
I’ve definitely seen claims that the idea of “a far stole my baby and replaced it with a changeling” could have been caused by ASD.
I read a long time ago some esoteric bullshit book and the author literally described people on the spectrum as fae changelings.
Kind of brought a tear to my eye
Don’t worry, that’s just a dhampir with a couple levels in suckubus. You let the right one in.
